Friday, July 7, 2017

The Whole Thing Was Choc Fulla Nuts

... from Wednesday ...

"Isn't it obvious? He's planning to corner the nut market, in order to put the squeeze on the chocolate biz. And he's probably going to destroy huge nut crops in order to do so!"

Of course this made sense right off the bat. All the obvious, tell-tale signs were there: Devious ne'er-do-well leanings, delusions of grandeur, a power play aimed at disrupting the normal course of events. Yep ... it sure sounded like the M.O. of Henri Petit.

But I confessed: "I was just winging it, guys. I don't have a bead on who it is behind this plot. We just haven't had any rows with the little twit of late and I was ... you know, wishful thinking it was Petit, y'unnerstan' ..."

Regardless, we had work to do. And we couldn't let down our friend Guinney nor see his successful business run out of profitability, nuts or popularity.

So, it was back to the states with us to determine if this was a real threat or someone with a desire to yank Guinney's chain.

The first order of business was to see if Petit was really behind this nefarious plot or if it was someone else. We didn't have any concrete evidence it was actually Petit - no video from Guinney's shop, nothing. Just our friend's word. But it sure sounded like something that imp Petit would involve himself with.

Doing some digging about nuts (California being one of the largest producers of almonds, pistachios and walnuts, all perfect in chocolates) and the like, I stumbled on this video:

A light when on after the first two and a half minutes. It smacked of jealousy and underhandedness to me. I postulated a theory that it wasn't Petit at all and there wasn't any pending nut crisis in the least in the future. 

Because it was obvious: Jimmy Fallon - and his abundant jealousy of Guinney Pepper's success - was the culprit here. And, to all three of us, that was just nuts.

We paid a visit to Fallon's studio the next day for "a little chat." (The details of that chat aren't important. Let's just say he saw clear to steer away from any shenanigans involving Guinney, his business and nuts in general. He even admitted he was the one who threatened Guinney at his shop posing as "the very tall man in a trench coat." And, yes, he midget on his shoulders who did all the talking who was an avid smoker.)

In the grand scheme of things, it was a pretty easy case to solve. Guinney was relieved to discover it was all a hoax when we broke the news to him.

Later, Clark asked: "Wait ... so ... we don't get to rough up Petit? You know, throw him screaming through a plate glass window from 15 stories up somewhere?"

Jeff and I consoled him with some of Guinney's superb chocolate creations we'd picked up while in Switzerland ...

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