Monday, January 30, 2017

Is There A Petit In My Family Tree?

The other day at the Unbelievabase, things were progressing as normal*.

Clark was trying out a new swimsuit...

Sorry (ahem) sun briefs...

Michael was trying out creepy ventriloquism...

Not actually sure which is the dummy and which is Michael - they're both so freakin' creepy.

And I was going through old pics of my relatives that my mother had found while researching our family tree.  Boy, we had a few whackos.

 There was Cousin Gertie who enjoyed dressing inside a hollowed-out ostrich egg and sitting on walls to scare people...

How she got into the thing is beyond me.

And the Fredrickson quads, who had the most efficient colons this side of the testing room at the Bran Flakes factory.
I remember getting invited to one of these 'prune parties'. Needless to say, I politely declined.

When what to my wonderful eyes (they really are wonderful, I ain't braggin' on myself now baby) should appear but these next few selections which made me question my heritage!

Whaaat?  Gun-totin', flag-wavin', cross-dressin', monocle-wearin', underage smokin' portly children in a box of family pictures? My family pictures?

I immediately got on the horn to my mother.

"Can you hear me, mother?"

I asked of her, "Mater dear, mater, I say, jolly old what what, eh, what?" No, I didn't. Because my mother and I don't talk like that. And I think you'll find that NOBODY talks like that except in the diseased imaginations of American scriptwriters. But I digress.

Long story short, she had no idea who they were. I persevered though, saying "But you don't think there's a possibility that way way back in the family tree, there could be a... a... Petit?!"

She reassured me that there wasn't, but still... those photos do seem a little... well, off, don't they?

That's when I brought the guys in. I had to find out for certain.

Find out what we discovered later in the week. The results may shock you! (Or not. )

*"Normal" is a relative term around these parts, y'know.

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