A tough nut to crack |
That's when I had THIS idea:
ME: "Hey, if we can't get this Eva chick to play ball, let's try her husband! Maybe he'll be more reasonable on account of he's a dude."
JEFF: " Her husband? You mean media mogul José “Pepe” Bastén?
ME: "Uh, no. I mean the man she's married to."
MICHAEL: "Oh, do you mean her ex-husband, Tony Parker the San Antonio Spurs point guard?"
ME: "What? No!"
JEFF: "Her first husband, Tyler Christopher who is best known for his role as Nikolas Cassadine and Connor Bishop on the ABC soap opera General Hospital?"
ME: "Where are you guys getting these crazy names from? I'm talking about her husband, Tampa Bay Rays third baseman Evan Longoria!"
JEFF: "... She isn't married to him."
ME: "Of course she is. They have basically the same name."
MICHAEL: "Jeff's right. He is not Eva Longoria's husband."
ME: "Okay, well, her brother then. Whatever."
JEFF: "They're not related! At all!"
ME: "Come on. With their names being that close? What, is that some kind of coincidence."
MICHAEL: "Yeah. That's exactly what a coincidence is, actually. 'Oh look, things that are unrelated just happen to share some similar characteristics. What a coincidence!' What a huge waste of time!"
ME: "Oh."
JEFF: "Yeah. So now what?"
ME: "Maybe we can sue her?"
Hey, at least I tried!
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