Friday, July 8, 2016

I scream, you scream. Stop screaming! It's just ice cream!

Mmm-MM! Who doesn't love ice cream on a hot summer day, or on a cold rainy one for that matter? Criminals, that's who! Deviants, delinquents, malefactors, miscreants and the lactose intolerant.
That's fine. Those shabby hooligans don't get to enjoy these fine flavors of creamy iced-ness.

BUTT-KICKING-ER PECAN
Smooth and creamy with little nutty speedbumps to keep you from breaking the speed limit and gobbling it up too fast, painfully freezing your frontal lobe in the process. This is our take on a classic favorite. "We already know about butter pecan; it's a classic favorite", you say. I know that. I just said so. This is where the KICKING sets in. It's infused with gun powder-flavored testosterone! Two licks in and you'll want to take your shirt off, run outside and lift some weights or beat up some muggers.

STYLISHBERRY SWIRLCAKE
Looking good is important. Tasting good is even more so. We start with genuine Armani strawberries, grown on a tuxedo farm in upper Tuscany. Then we add chunks of George Clooney's wedding cake, mix them up with a cummerbund and some elegant cufflinks. We then parade it up and down a catwalk at a fashion show in Paris, not allowing anyone to sample or photograph it. After Elton John writes a song about it, which is turned into a full-scale Broadway musical. After that is turned into a touring production that visits Chicago, Los Angeles and Toronto but before the rights are available to community theater groups in Cheboygan, Lafayette and Toledo, it's finally time to let the public have the ice cream.

TAWNY ECRU UMBER MAHOGANY MOCHA COCOA DUSKY DEFENESTRATION DELIGHT
This one is just good old fashioned chocolate ice cream, served in a bowl fashioned from the broken glass from all of the various windows Henri Petit has been kicked out of over the years.







So there you have it. We've each presented our three favorite Unbelievable ice cream flavors. Which one is YOUR favorite?

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