Fantasy sports, Unbelievables style

There's no doubt you're all familiar with the recreational activity of "fantasy sports", which takes all the enjoyment, camaraderie, and physical exercise of participating in actual sports and completely removes it. You might be surprised to learn that we, The Unbelievables, are the focus of a new fantasy sports-type activity. Because we, The Unbelievables, sure were.

"Don't you want to play?"

Basically, this is what we have learned: The way you play is you don't just "draft" one of us (me, Jeff or Michael), you actually play as us. Then, you compete with your friends, earning points based on our/your exploits. We've heard that some leagues will also allow you to play as lesser role players like Kip the Mail Boy and even Ulf the Unbelievadog. I'll point out some examples of how you earn points if you were to play as me...

Drive a Corvette: 10 points

Be seen in the company of beautiful babes: 25 points per babe

This is 150 points, in case you were too distracted to do the math.

Get a beautiful babe to cook a meal for you: 50 points (meal must include an entree, at least one side dish and a cocktail. Dessert is good for 10 bonus points)

Kick a bad guy out of a window: 100 points (WARNING! 0 points and likely criminal prosecution if it's not an actual, verifiable bad guy)

That's how you play as me. Jeff and Michael will fill you in on their relative point values later this week!