Monday, September 28, 2015

Hirsute's You, Sir

Hi folks! It's Monday, and I bet you're all a-wonderin' where the heck we were last week, eh? Well, we'll tell you. The picture we posted was a clue to what we were experiencing.

The other week we noticed that our disguise kit was looking a bit sorry for itself. We were low on supplies. Scarcely any greasepaint or eyeliner, only 2 prosthetic noses, one wig (afro), and zero, that's right, ZERO fake mustaches.

We had to replenish our kit, so we went to the local Party City.

Conveniently, the shop was located adjacent to the Sally Beauty Supply.

"Woohoo!" cried Clark. "One stop shoppin'!"

"No kidding," said Michael, gesturing to another store just yards from where we were standing. "I don't recall seeing that store before."

Once in the store, we were approached by a store associate who was proffering flyers for an upcoming seminar on new disguise techniques. We initially pooh-poohed the idea.

"Pshaw! As if you have anything to teach us!" crowed Clark.

I nudged him and reminded him that we were supposed to be acting like regular folks and not professional crimefighters.

"On the other hand, " he quickly corrected himself, "we're not busy on Monday, so we might pop along."

And that is precisely what we did. Not because we thought there was anything we could learn from this seminar, but because it seemed odd that a spy supply shop would pop up next to a Party City and a Sally beauty Supply, especially when the Army, Navy and Police Surplus store was on the next block.

On entering, we noticed the store was strangely empty, save for a few chaps sporting unusual moustaches. 

As soon as the doors closed behind us, we heard the telltale click of automatic locks securing the doors, barring our exit. Then, out of nowhere, appeared a man we'd encountered before on numerous occasions. A petty crook, lightbulb salesman and moustache supplier, and now, it seemed, someone hell-bent on kidnapping The Unbelievables.

Yes. Tony "Monobrow" McGee, the world's only New Jersey Cockney

What happened to us then would take us all week to deal with and recover from.

Michael will pick up the story on Wednesday. In the meantime, I'm going for a little lie down with my friend Captain Morgan.

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