Typical Kipical

As mentioned previously, I'm not exactly Kip the Mail Boy's biggest fan. I'm not surprised in the least that he was goofing off and wandered away. So now that he's missing, I guess we have to assume he's dead. As such, it's important to move on. I think that's what Kip would want. Of course, he could still be alive and that might be the last thing he wants, in which case, who cares? Either way, hey, life is for the living.
With that in mind, let's take a look at some of the candidates we didn't have the sense to hire the last time ol' what's-his-name's position was open and see if they might still be available.

This candidate was rejected in favor of Kip? Kip?!? My goodness, what were we thinking?

Another highly more skilled and qualified than Kip applicant. I'm not sure I get the headpiece and the bouquet, but whatever.

Ohh, I get it. "Mail-order bride". Ha ha! Yes, very clever. Not what we are in the market for, though. Not at all.

This isn't wrong, really. Chain mail is mail, after all. And she certainly delivered it. I don't see why we can't work with this.

Sir, we're required by law to interview you but upon first glance, I don't see a single thing that indicates that you have anything we're looking for in terms of filling this position. Thank you so much for coming in. Get out.

Ah, perfect. When can you start? Oh, and, like, what's your name?

What?

We have to wait and determine Kip's whereabouts and stuff first, because if he's still alive, he's allowed to keep his job? Is that something that was signed when he was hired? It was? Oh. Hmm. All right. We'll keep you posted (HA HA!) on this, Ms. Perfect For The Job.

Thin Air

"Hey ... have you guys seen Kip? I was just at the mailbox and it was bursting at the seams with stuff ..."

"Nope. Funny ... not like him to leave the mail unattended ..."

"You know, come to think of it, I haven't seen him since last Thursday ..."

"Last Wednesday now that you mention it ... when we sent him on that mission during all that Petit monkey business."

Rut roh. Where was Kip, our trusty mail boy?

The Mysterious Mystery of Mysteriousness

It all started when we all went out and bought new cars. We all plumped for the same one - the '71 Matra Laser by Michelotti. You gotta admit, this is one sweet ride.

Michael also purchased a Calypso green Ford Falcon XA GT-HO Phase 4, too. Just for running to the store, he said.

We'd also recently completed reading the book Alfred Hitchcock and The three Investigators in The Mystery Of The Nervous Lion. All three of us. We read it to each other in turn, over the course of three nights, by candlelight. Wait, what? You DON'T do that?!

Whether any of those factors have anything to do with what happened next, I'm not sure. It could have been coincidence.

But what did happen next? Well, I'll let the others finish telling the story, as I like to keep you all in suspenders. What I can tell you is it involves our chance meeting with these people...

and the consumption of some yummy comestibles...

A mystery within

"Oh, is it hot in here? We haven't done
 anything wrong, so we didn't notice"

Something has happened that threatens to r-r-r-r-r-i-i-i-i-p-p-p-p The Unbelievables apart!

Here's the basic rundown:

As you all know, it's the top-secret files of The Kitsch Bitsch from which we initially sprung. She's like a mother to us. At least some of us feel that way.
Anyway, an enterprise created by KB (that's what we call her; you have a nickname or two for your own sweet Mama, yes?), a Facebook page to be specific, was struggling with a troll infestation recently. Michael offered his services in order to bring the situation under control. Two days later, the page was shut down. It's very similar to when a popular-yet-struggling family restaurant claims it's closing briefly for re-modeling and when it re-opens, it's a Burger King.

"And when we do, are you going to want pickles on that Whopper?"

Yes folks, something stinks. And for once, it's not Michael's gym bag. And why does a guy who only participates in "sans clothing" sports leagues need a gym bag anyway?
Michael has some explaining to do. And Jeff and I know how to get somebody to talk, don't we Jeff?

"What have you done to our beloved Mumsie, you lousy sonova..."