Pop goes the rings

There was a very, very brief period where we were all enamored with candy ring pops. Well, me more than we. And obsessed more than enamored. But I had valid reasoning!

• They're colorful and attention-attracting
• They're delicious
• Ladies love 'em

So yeah, all of those things are really only applicable at parties. Their presence is downright detrimental in tactical situations.

OR ARE THEY?!?

Much of the time we spend on missions is devoted to surveillance. Stake-outs, if you will. And do you know what happens when you're on a stake-out? You get hungry. For that reason, I had these handy prototypes drawn up...

A sandwich ring!

A wing ring!

A chowder ring!

And what could be better on a stake-out than a steak ring!

Genius, right? Thanks! But there was one inherent flaw; lots of our foes utilize guard dogs to protect their secret lairs and after we looked at the results from one field test...

...it was decided that it would be best to scrap this idea.