Saturday, June 6, 2015

What The Scheeble Happened?

The scene: The Unbelievabase, dateline: yesterday. Around 6 a.m.

A knock on the door (which is odd, since we live below a laundromat - I mean how did they get in at 6 a.m.?).

CLARK: I'll get it.


CLARK: Jeff, get that for me would you please?

JEFF: Whatever... (answers door) Yes, can I help you?

LARRY SCHEEBLE (for it is he): Hi, neighbors. I just checked the pharmacy and they were out of Placidyl - about 30 years ago.


LARRY: Yes, you noisy bastards. Tone it down, willya?

M,C & J: What th-

LARRY: I suppose you're all wondering why I, of all people, am your neighbor?

M,C & J: Well, frankly, yes.

LARRY: I, Larry Scheeble, the camp nerd from all those years ago that you mercilessly made fun of...


LARRY: You're wondering how I managed to find out the location of your secret base, how I managed to procure the property opposite, and why I keep complaining about the noise?

JEFF: Yes.

LARRY: Well, it was pretty simple really. Don't forget, I too am a graduate of Camp Action!, the summer camp for would-be spies, crimefighters and secret agents (not to mention ninjas). And you guys all thought I was a wimpy geek who'd never amount to anything. So you made jokes about me, imitated my nerdy voice and feeble ways, and made my time at Camp Action! a living hell.

JEFF: Well, I wouldn't go that far...

LARRY: Hush! I'm talking! Despite the bad time I had at Camp Action! because of you guys, I was equipped with the same knowledge that you all were. And after graduation I enlisted for police training. then I went into the CIA, then the FBI, then MI5, MI6, KGB, VHF, and BBC. And I tracked you down. That was easy.

CLARK: But why go to all that trouble?

LARRY: You wanna know why? You wanna KNOW WHY???!!

M, C & J: Um, yes. We really wanna know.

LARRY: TO DO THIS!!! (Lunges forward, attempts to give Michael a wedgie, realises Michael is going commando, fumbles for a bit, gets red in the face, slowly backs away towards the door)

M, C & J:....

LARRY: (mumbles) Bastards... (shuts door)

MICHAEL: That was weird.

CLARK: It was, wasn't it?

A timid knock on the door.

JEFF: (opens door) YES?!

LARRY: Um... I don't suppose I could borrow a cup of sugar?

MICHAEL: Get lost, Scheeble.

LARRY: Righto. Right. Bye then. (backs off)

M, C & J: Bye. Weirdo.

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