The Grilling of Michael

The scene: A pokey little back room at the Unbelievabase. The loo, to be precise. Michael's loo. (Yes- we each have our own. I have a little sign on my bathroom door that says "The Wee House". Geddit?!)

Note: Not actually Michael's loo. (P.S. It totally is.)

Michael is seated on the throne, Jeff is questioning Michael while Clark stands behind Jeff, holding a desk lamp in the air.

JEFF: Now, Michael, my old friend, ol' buddy ol' pal, let's go through this one more time. Just so's we get it straight. WHAT THE @%&#*@ happened!!?!? Hm? Hmm?

CLARK: Yeah, hm?!? Hmmm?!?

MICHAEL: Look, fellas, I dunno. I'm as confused as you are.

J: Confused, eh? Eh?

C: Yeah, confused eh??

M: Yes, I mean, when KB -

J: That's Mama to you, butterball!

C: Yeah, what Jeff said.

M:(to Clark) Crawler! (to me) when she needed help I offered my services -

J: I bet you did, I bet you did...

M: ...and said I would moderate the page.

J: And??

M: And what? The trolling didn't stop or slow down, and even using every Unbelieva-skill in my arsenal I was powerless to stop it. Heck-fire, I even tried using common sense but it was no use! I was up against something bigger.

J: And...?

C: What he said.

M: And that's it. After two days the KB - I mean, Mama had had enough and pulled the plug.

J:And...?

M: Look, I've had enough.Can I tinkle in peace, please?

C: And...?

M: And read the paper.

J: Okay... but this is not over! We will get to the bottom of this one way or another.

M: Guys, you're just in denial.

J: Whatever.

C: Aaand...?