Wednesday, September 17, 2014

Variations On An Unbelieva-Theme

It's amazing how many of our adventures were ripped off by the magazine "Man's Life" and others of its ilk. Not only did they rip us off, but they ripped each other off, too. Many stories were just recycled versions of stories that had appeared previously, with the names, places and other details changed, in other magazines. Variations on a theme, if you will. Here are a few examples that are particularly common.


It was in reality only next door's cat, but the girl's shirt did fall open.

This was when Michael got plastered one day at St. Tropez and did a faceplant into the sand while in the company of a bikini-clad giantess.

Once, we were given a tour of the Aussie Outback (not the restaurant, although that Toowoomba Pasta is delicious) by none other than Steve Irwin (bless him). Give me back my arm, indeed. Crikey!

Topless, exotic, and waist deep. Clark knows how to get a girl out of trouble.

One time we tested each other's knife skills by stabbing piranhas in mid-air. OK, it was only a backyard pool, and the piranhas were rubber, but other than that, the story is pretty much verbatim.

As far as I recall none of our adventures have ever brought us into contact with Nazis, but the writers have taken extreme liberties with the truth just to sell these rags. We did once bust up an S&M club in the search for illicit Twinkies, but Nazis? No.

More water, and a medieval-looking torture device. Apparently Nazis were heavily into the idea that torturing sexy skimpily-clad maidens was the way to win WW2.

Either that or throwing them off of flagpoles, after torturing them. We did once have an escapade with a pretty girl and a flagpole, but that's another story and again, nothing whatsoever to do with Nazis.

Not Nazis, but Fidel Castro lookalikes, and some sort of voodoo torturing of pretty young women. We once judged a Fidel Castro lookalike contest but that is about as far as it goes.
1. She was running towards us. 2. We were waiting for her.
3. There were no Nazis.

The "Wild Animal/Damsel In Distress" Theme

Never met a Stone Age man who wanted to take my blonde girlfriend away, but if I had, it's a fair bet it'd look something like this.

Pumas don't generally attack people, but there was this one occasion when Marissa needed me to shoo the neighbour's cat off the porch.

The "Dominant Females" Theme

We've made our fair share of women mad before, but they never tried to cut our heads off. This must be based on an Unbelievababes adventure where they were in deep cover in the jungles of French Guiana. 

We should be so lucky.

Then there are the oddball items that, while not specifically based on any of our adventures, at least ring a bell. One loud enough to make us think that someone has been following us. Here are some examples...

One time, Clark asked for a set of muscles for Xmas.

Um... this was in my inbox. Don't ask me why.

Michael once changed his name to "Tim Valour".

We knew young Ellis Parsley before he was Elvis Presley.

Let's see what Michael has to say on Friday... Till then...


1 comment:

  1. At the risk of identifying myself as a bad person, I find the damsels in distress at the hands of the Nazis a highly erotic concept. Also, I would like to sleep with one of the Unbelievables. Which one of those two statements is worse? - Teresa W