Monday, September 16, 2013

Un Petit Peu de Trash

Boy, there are some weird, wild and wacky news items from around the world, aren't there? From the guy having sex with over 1000 cars to the world's smallest pony being kidnapped by the Mafia (and no - I'm not making those up, just Google them) there never seems to be a shortage of wild news. But we Unbelievables are here to tell you right now - those news stories are just put there to distract you from the real issues. One time we had a case on our hands that was just like that. Our arch-enemy Henri Petit, that big dumb pudding-faced baby, was trying to control the world's media outlets in order to cover up his nefarious activities (robbing banks, stealing skyscrapers, dismantling mountain ranges, that sort of thing) by feeding the public a daily dose of crapola that would take their attention away from crime in general. 

"Who said I look like Harold Wilson?"

Of course, we were onto his game pretty darn fast. Oh, we didn't know it was him, at least not to begin with. But our vast network of contacts and informants told us what our Unbelieva-Zen senses had suspected... there was serious fuckery afoot.

It wasn't until this trashy tabloid crossed our desk that we knew Petit was up to his old tricks. Trying to make us look bad and expose our identities at the same time in a vain attempt to make himself look better in the eye of Joe Public. 

I'll let the other guys fill you in on how we managed to stop too many of these mags from getting out. Suffice to say... you're welcome, world.

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