Wednesday, November 14, 2012
Welcome To The Wild, Wild World Of The Unbelievables
Hi, Folks. Welcome to The Official Page of The Unbelievables. This is Michael ... and I'm happy to get things off to a rousing start, filling you in on the super-secret adventures Clark, Jeff and I have shared over the years as one of the premiere crime-fighting outfits of the modern world.
You know ... fighting crime is tough work. It's not for the faint of heart, not for the weak of constitution ... and definitely not for those whose favorite passtime is grooving a pattern with the back of their front in the cushion of their favorite couch.
It takes character, quick-thinking and, most of all, innovative fashion to keep our identities on the sly.
Clark Brooks, Jeff Hickmott and Michael Noble (better known as "The Unbelievables") exemplify and epitomize crime fighting at its finest. Their daring-do is known far and wide across many shores. Their efforts - many of which cannot be retold or shared here lest freedom and democracy be put into jeopardy - are legend.
Part of The Unbelievables' strategy lies in their uncanny abilities to hide in plain sight, becoming one with the bad guys, infiltrating ne'er do wells despite any obstacle that may block their way. In so doing, third-world kingdoms have been saved from extinction, grandmothers have been reunited with their families, secret double agents have been foiled and dinners have continued to be served hot, delicious and on time.
Yes ... many of you may not know the truth behind The Unbelievables, but this official page is here now to share a few of their exploits for the world (or, at least the internet) to marvel at. (Those we're able to share, at any rate, without compromising any hush-hush trade secrets and the like.)
We'll start things off with a little-talked about adventure - "The Case Of The Eddies" - where it can be revealed for the first time anywhere there was once a fourth member of The Unbelievables, Ralph, whose courageous efforts not only saw to it Clark, Jeff and Michael would live to see more adventures, but who was instrumental in teaching us the art of disguise. (Unfortunately, we're not able to reveal which of the four blue-clad men above are which, but rest assured one of them is Clark, one is Jeff, one is Michael and one is *sniff* Ralph. Rest in peace, Ralph.)
You know? The mere thought of this case brings a tear to my eye. After all, it was Ralph who suggested we don the open-collared look and casual attitudes displayed above in order to infiltrate the devious international shenanigans of Lester Van Hornrimm and his evil plans to eradicate the word "Eddie" from the English language. It was on a rainy day, deep within a warehouse filled with dictionaries, that Ralph discovered the true nature of Hornrimm's intentions ... and where he lost his life beneath a pallet of newly printed dictionaries. I ... I ...
... I'm going to have to let Clark or Jeff fill you in on what details they can about those days gone by and the circumstances of what befell our buddy Ralph that one fateful day.
I need a tissue ...