Sunday, November 25, 2012

The Case Of The Golden Sponge Cake with Creamy Death Filling - Or The Hostess With The Most Explosives (Further Foibles And A Secret Weapon)

As related by Clark and Jeff before me, you can see The Case Of The Golden Sponge Cake with Creamy Death Filling (et all) is filled (no pun intended) not only with diabolical delights (no pun intended) and intrigue, but packed in the middle (no pun intended) with more convolution than a 5 pound sack containing 10 pounds of potatoes.

This case has confounded The Unbelievables to no end. Oh, sure ... there have been a few inroads and successes in frustrating the intentions of The Hostess, Little Debbie and that freak of nature the evil Bimbo Bear. We've been able to quash a plan or several and put them on the run. And we've forced them to hide underground. But it's Baron Jude Turgider that pulls many of their string - he has a proclivity for manipulating laws both domestic and international in order for the insidious fiends to carry out their underhanded intentions year after year after year. And he almost got away with getting Hostess reinstated, reorganized and baking again, but, thanks to us, we were able to toss a wrench in the machine and halt the attempt.

This time.

Now, obviously we can't divulge any information relaying just how we've managed to put speed bumps in the roadway of their plans, but rest assured we continue to be on their tails.  Justice will ever be served on them in packaging not suitable for individual sale, but by the caseload.

I can say this, however: As a direct result of Hostess products, The Unbelievables have forged relationships with some pretty powerful and "impressive" allies. And one of the most adept at perplexing our foes' intentions is none other than Sonny The Cocoa Puffs mascot. Yeah ... go figure.

Here and now, it can be told Sonny has been instrumental in the spy business. How is it possible that we can reveal, for the first time anywhere, he is a player in the game? Because Sonny - believe it or not, just like The Unbelievables - is a master of disguise. 

And you'd never know it but ... back in the day? Woody The Woodpecker was able to keep him in line. (But that's a story for another time.)

Meanwhile, Hostess Bakeries are in flux, finally ordered to dissolve once and for all despite Baron Jude Turgider's efforts with The Hostess forced to seek other means to carry out her cronies' no doubt on-going evil doings. 

There will be more adventures to come from this evil group, but rest assured, Free World: The Unbelievables will be there to counter.

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