Gary Flurve vs The Unbelievables

The plaintiff

Long ago, one of our harshest critics was a man named Gary Flurve. His complaints were very similar to the simpering whinings - or whining simpers - of "George" (Hmm, Gary? George? Hmm.). 'Who told you you could', 'who do you think', 'how dare you', etc. He was so bent out of shape about it that he sued us! His complaint: We couldn't be The Unbelievables because of the fact that we exist, therefor rendering us quite easily believable. He hired a lawyer and dragged us into court.

Here's how that went...

MARCIA SNAGFOOT (Flurve's attorney): "Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, please allow me to show you some individuals who are truly unbelievable."

"Ladies and gentlemen, these are fictional characters and therefor inherently unbelievable. Clark, Jeff and Michael, the three gentlemen who refer to themselves as 'The Unbelievables' are sitting right there. Look at them! Totally there, existing in our universe and totally believable. Nothing further!"

What Marcia Snagfoot didn't know was that prior to the trial beginning, our lawyer, the esteemed Chung Poon, had arranged for this little lady to be seated in the gallery:

CHUNG POON: "Your honor, is Ms. Snagfoot really trying to tell all of us here in this courtroom that they shouldn't believe in Santa Claus? All of us? (cocks thumb at little girl seated behind him)"
MARCIA SNAGFOOT: "I object!"
JUDGE: "Ms. Snagfoot, you are a reprehensible creature. A monster! You are hereby held in contempt of innocence and dreams and I sentence you to live all alone on a jungle island infested with tigers. Case dismissed! All hail The Unbelievables!" (Courtroom bursts into spontaneous cheers of joy as a bailiff throws a pie into the face of Gary Flurve)

Now, you may be questioning the character of Chung Poon and his exploitation of an innocent child for the sake of winning a favorable verdict for his clients. Well, you may be surprised to learn that the adorable little girl in the courtroom that day...

 ...was actually the incredibly talented Charlize Theron using her actor talent power to portray a little girl.

See how Poon is a genius?
See how it all circles back to our involvement with celebrities?
See how truly Unbelievable we are?

Unbelievable Legalities

We get letters ...

"Dear Unbelievables:

You know, I've noticed lately you guys get by with a lot of stuff that comes close to crossing lines.

Just-this-side of slanderous celebrity call outs. Lots of tossing people out hotel windows from who knows how many stories up. Product endorsements that seem suspect. Seminars and lessons and what have you you "claim" as your own. Unbelieva-this and Unbelieva-that and Unbelieva-whatever, guaranteed to improve and enlighten and protect and more.

Personally, I don't know how you guys get away with a lot of the things you do.

You must have a killer legal team. I am curious.

Signed, George"

Well, "George," you hit the nail on the head. We have terrific legal representation in the event of any matters that call for such: The Law Offices of Poon and their subsidiaries.

Plus ... they even have roof top parking!

 Our buddy and confidant Chung S. Poon.

Advisor extraordinaire.

 Poon is world wide, too, with some of the best training schools in London.

Margaret Poon is Chung's sister-in-law.

The firms are family affairs.

Now ... more to the points of your letter, your "specifics" ...

Understandably, there are a good number of celebrities (and so call celebrities at that) who need to be called out, I'm certain you'll agree. Getting in the games they do, them being in the public eye is part of the job description. So, really, there's not too much hullabaloo on that front.

Throwing people out of windows? Hey ... it happens.

I can assure you, however, there isn't one person, male of female, we three have given the ole heave ho to who didn't deserve it. Scout's honor. (Besides, no self-respecting villain would run to the authorities or seek legal advice about getting flung from the 10th floor of a luxury suite. They'd be the laughing stock of their profession.)

Product endorsements? Our specialized seminars and trainings? All legitimate.

Of course ... there have been a few situations which necessitated the esteemed George S. Poon and his expertise. And, in the grand scheme of things, they weren't that big a deal. Not in retrospect, at any rate.

I'll let Jeff and Clark detail those items ...