A Blob On The Landscape

Our search for RudeMan received a little boost this week after he apparently received our little note. Saturday morning we received a postcard with this picture on the front.

This was enough to make Michael spit out a chunk of Cabot Vermont Cheddar. (He says munching on it makes him feel smart. So there ya go.)

"Pp-p-pp-t-tt-tooey! Charlie Sheen? What th'...?"

"I'm guessing this is in response to Mr. Rogers," said Clark, guessing correctly.  

"Does it say anything on the reverse?" I enquired.

"Oh myyy," said Michael, flipping the card.

WARNING: What follows is probably NSFW, so we've censored it as much as possible without totally obscuring it.

"Wait just a second! Great Scott! Hokey smokes, Bullwinkle!" cried Clark. "I think this may be a clue!"

"Oh yeah, in what way?" I asked.

"Well, you should know, Jeff. It's something that happened in your homeland. I read about it on the wire last week!"

"Yeah?"

"This lady had graffiti spray painted on her outside wall that did not look too dissimilar to this one. Only in her case, there was a message accompanying it.

"What was the message?" Michael and I said.

"Wait, I'll pull it up on the screen. Ah, here it is."

Here's the link for you folks. http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/vandals-spray-obscene-graffiti-womans-10135867

"Y'know, the phrase 'big black cook' may not be a misspelling. It's entirely possible it may be in code!"

We immediately set to with various methods of codebreaking, and after 15 minutes Michael figured out that it was an anagram of "GO KICK A BLOB,C?"

Could it be...

Surely not?

Up Around The U-Bend

HB2, or the "Bathroom Bill" in North Carolina is one of those silly laws (well, not yet - it's just a bill) made up by dumb ol' guys whose views are still firmly entrenched in the olden days when men were men and women did the housework. These people simply do not understand how a human body works and they think that there's something intrinsically dangerous about letting people of differing genders mingle freely in the bathrooms of the world. These are the people who think that being gay is a disorder of some sort, that you can "catch gay" and that gays can be "scared straight" when we all know that it isn't a choice, it just happens. Which is why we are not concerned with the restrooms of N.C.

These people wouldn't know a dangerous loo if they got their heads shoved down one and flushed for 15 minutes. We've seen some bathroom danger in our time, let me tell ya.

Critters in the lav is one of the nasty things that can occur
from time to time. You wouldn't want to see these when heading for a little private time.

*shiver*

Then of course there are toilets that are dangerous even without animals.

Could give one a nasty cut.

Careful not to move about too much in this one.

Then there are the ones that do your head in.

How am I supposed to get to it?

For those of you that want to know how it feels to take a dump on a ski jump.

How am I supposed to sit on this?

Make your own joke here.

Then, there are the rogue toilets. The truly evil crappers. The ones that swallow humans whole.

The best thing to do is to follow some good advice, usually found in any bathroom stall in the world:

Oh, and cat owners... this has to stop.

Michael will be with you on Friday with more tales of danger, toilets (maybe) and other stuff (you never know with Michael, he can be kinda random sometimes).