There really was no easy way to break it to the Snow Miser. We lured him in with the promise of peppermint tea and chocolate chip cookies (his favourites - who knew? We did, that's who), sat him down and tried to explain as best we could, given that we didn't fully understand the complexities of it all ourselves.
"There's this thing called climate change," I offered.
"Climate change?" replied the Miser.
"Yes," interjected Clark. (He does like to interject. Oh, he's a right bugger for interjections, interruptions, ructions, contradictions and um... congratulations. But I digress.) "You see, the earth's ocean currents are messed up due to the increased man-made carbon emissions. More emissions means a buildup of CO2 in the atmosphere, trapping warmth in like a greenhouse and causing the polar icecaps and glaciers to melt. This affects the weather too. So while you like to swoop in and make it all snowy and icy for a while, these climatic events make any weather more unpredictable and a lot worse each time."
"Yes, thank you, Dr. Science, " I said. "So you see, you've got to tone it down a bit."
"I see," said Snow Miser. "I'll have to see what I can do. But I make no promises! I just love pratfalls and slip-ups! Oh, and you might want to talk to Mr. Heat Miser too or you'll have sunbathers blackened to a crisp on the beaches of Southern Alaska. Now, where's that steaming peppermint tea I was promised?"
After a plate of Toll House and a mug of his favourite brew, he was away.
"Remember what we talked about!" Michael called after him. "Tone it down a skosh."
But he was long gone. Whether he heard or not is debatable, so I guess we'll find out the same time next year.
Now to find Heat Miser's phone number...
I believe he's Mr. Hundred and One. |
P.S. Michael and Clark did actually try to catch up with him, but after an hour of waiting for their return, I peeked out the window to see if I could spot them coming back. Here's what I saw.
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