Monday, July 21, 2014


Everywhere you go these days, the "kids" and pretty much everyone else who has been outside their front door since 1974 are using their mobile devices to communicate with one another, either by chatting, messaging, texting or anything that isn't making actual phone calls.

Remember about 20 or so years back when everyone was getting into the Internet and using chatroom lingo and then a few years later when people started texting using all those abbreviations? Yeah, well, we were pissed about that (and still are, to a degree).

Why? Because it was our idea. We have had handheld mobile communicators since virtually day one. We recognised the need to be able to call each other in an emergency or to share an in-joke or two at some villain's or one another's expense. In our business you never know when the need arises to quickly summon the team together and fight off some would-be ne'er-do-well's fiendish plot. Time, in these situations, is of the essence.

So we devised a simple system of acronyms and abbreviations that could be speedily input into the Unbelievatext™ Wrist-O-Matic™ devices to effectively send these otherwise time-consuming messages.

Unfortunately, though, some of these leaked out, and they were then appropriated by "the kids" and altered for their own purposes. As for who leaked the information, my money's on Kip the Mail Boy.

You might recognise most of the following list, but I bet you never knew what the original meaning was, did you? 

BRB - Bad, Really Bad

BTW - Bring The Weaponry

B4N - BBQ For Nine

BFF - Be Fast, Friend -or- Bring Female Friends

FUD - Fish, Undercooked, Diarrhea

FWIW - Five Weeks In Woolloomooloo (very, very specific, and a story we will reveal later)

IMHO - It May Have Ostriches

IRL - In Red Lincoln

ISO - I'm Speeding Over

J/K - Jeff's Knish

LMAO - Let's Munch At O'Charley's or Let's Munch At Olive Garden

LOL - Look Out Lads -or- Leave Off, Larry (another really specific one)

MHOTY - My Hat's Off To You

NP - New Pants -or- No Pants

OMG - Oprah Might Go

OT - Overtime (in reference to extra pay incurred during stakeouts)

POV - Person On 'Vette (one of Clark's personally specific ones)

LMAO - Letting My Air Out (?)

ROFL - Ready, O'Charley's For Lunch

RT - Relaxin' Time 

THX - George Lucas is snooping around again

SWAK - Sent With A Knish

TLC - Tipsy,  Lost Control

TMI - Too Much Irish (Whiskey)

WTF - Where's The Fire?

XOXO - Xylophone, and stock cubes.

So there you are. I bet some of those really surprised you. I bet you're also wondering how we are able to divulge this info. Well, since the leak, we abandoned these acronyms and went back to using these fab headset devices instead.

Well worth the $35, not to mention the $400 installation fee, I trust you'll agree.

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