Wednesday, February 25, 2015

Evolution Revolution

Hello once again. It is I, the amazing Henri Petit, master villain and skilled hacker. On Monday, I told you all about the Hacktivator 2000®, the phenomenal machine I used to hack into this very blog and seize control! Bwahahahaha! Bwaaaaahahahaaaaaa! Ha. Ahem. Sorry, now, where was I?

Ah yes. The Hacktivator 2000®. This wonder of modern hack-ology was not my first hacking-capable supercomputer, no sir. In fact there were at least three earlier versions, prototypes if you will, before the Hacktivator 2000® came along. I thought it might be a bit of fun to revisit these early crime-puters (see what I did there? Bwaaahahahahaha!!) so you can see how tooled up I am and stuff. (Evil smirk). (Sorry I had to write that, there's really no way of illustrating an evil smirk. Oh, wait - perhaps there is.)

Anyway - here's the first one.

This is two of my ex- evil programmers, Lemuel "Crowbar" McShifty and Garibaldi Barlow sweating out a line or two of evil code on the EvilTron X1™. Damn thing couldn't hack so much as a Casio wristwatch. So I decided to go bigger. More processing power was needed.

Here we see the EvilTron RoomiebotX2™. As you can see, it was certainly bigger, taking up as it did the entire first floor of my lair.

Once again, there are two "experts" tending to its many knobs and valves. That looks like Henchman Paddy Oltroon on the left, and Henchman Garritov Barlovski on the right. A right pair of numpties if ever there were. And the machine was a total failure too. If anything, it was too big. The size was not the issue after all - it just needed to be more streamlined. Simplicity was the key.

Now we were getting somewhere. With Barry Garlow on the left, and Sossie Jegganchipz on the right, the Eviltronster 12™ was able to interfere with air traffic control at the local airfield. Still, it wasn't quite up to the job I had in mind for it.

So, I had to build it myself. If you want it done right, you have to do it off your own evil back. So, with the help of Betsy, my office manager (who is as strong as an ox), the Hacktivator 2000® was born! 

And now, I have control of those Unbeleivaboobs' computers! Bwaaaahahahahaahahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

See you Friday.

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