Monday, June 23, 2014


We hope everyone is enjoying the World Cup tournament currently taking place. It's very exciting, isn't it? We know you're feeling safe while it's going on. We know, because we're making it that way.

Before play began, we picked up on a plot hatched by a crafty ring of international jewel thieves that would rely on the excitement generated by the tourney to help them carry out their nefarious plans. Basically, their plan was to rob jewelery stores and museums in the world's most densely populated countries on the days when their teams played games. Every time a team wins a game, the populace of that country erupts in wild celebrations, during which most everyone is distracted. The more populous the country, the bigger the celebration, the bigger the distraction, the easier it is to rob a place stupid. Simple.
Our response was equally simple: plant ourselves on the team from the smallest country possible and win all the games against the bigger countries. Fewer wins means less celebrations and more diligent security.
One of the problems we ran into was finding the right sized country. This was proving problematic until Michael found a site on the internet that allows you to register your very own micronation. With a $15 "processing fee" (charged to Jeff's credit card) and several pages of "I Agree", we were the proud owners and residents of "Unbelievia" (rejected names: Unbelievaburg, Unbelievavania, Michigan II). First order of business was to set us up with our own World Cup team. Done!
Our team: the three of us and two guys who inadvertantly clicked the wrong link while searching for Elton John fan sites. It's going to be tough with only five guys but we love a challenge.

We encountered other problems (Jeff, in spite of being from England, doesn't particularly care for soccer. Michael doesn't particularly care for sports played while clothed) but the mission continues. The boys will tell you all about it.

No comments:

Post a Comment