Indispensable Ulf

Let's just get one thing straight - I was never in any doubt that Ulf was the perfect pooch pal for us unbelieva-chaps - I merely underestimated his abilities, which, let's face it, is easy to do when the only hounds you're used to are your average, everyday, run-of-the-mill, common-or-garden variety dogs. Ulf is one in a million. But to all appearances, he's just a regular dog, although you never can tell what breed. His mastery of disguise is legendary.

So as I was saying, I had yet to see his other abilities put to the test in the field, so to speak. I mean, sure, we set him up one of those dog-show style assault courses, and he aced it. More than that, he set a world record time without even having to be shown what to do. Unlike this feller here...




But I was to find out that there are many strings to Ulf's bow. For example...

He's rescued people in all sorts of dire emergencies. Here he is pulling some poor unfortunates from an icy grave...

Fearlessly diving in first to pull Michael Phelps out of a mucky lake while we three look on in admiration. Old Phelpsy had been on the wacky baccy again.

Searching through the rubble in some foreign land fully equipped to deal with unexploded bombs and landmines etc.

Helpfully guiding a lost dolphin back to her family group.

Demonstrating the art of digging for avalanche victims in the Pyrenees...

and teaching new Search & Rescue recruits how to jump out of helicopters into the icy Alaskan waters beneath in order to save people. 

He's a bomb disposal expert, too. Here he is showing one of those Army robots how it should be done.

On the weekends he trots off down to the airport to help sniff out contraband. He can tell the difference between Colombian marching powder and Lamb Jalfrezi at 100 paces.

Plus, he's extremely useful around here too.

Covering shifts for Kip the Mail Boy when he's on his hols...

Always takes his turns answering the phone...

and he's becoming a pretty decent cook.

The ladies love him. Good boy, Ulf!

Yes, I think it's fair to say that Ulf truly is The Unbelievables' best friend!

Ciao!

Teamwork Ain't Easy, You Know ...

Hokay ... I admit: Jeff threw me with the shout out about boobs in his previous post. Because, well ... you know ... BOOBS! As in ... we Unbelievables are sometimes a bunch of boobs, if you get my meaning.

But that's part of our charm. And, in the right moments, the ladies? They dig that. (Hello, ladies!)

I mean ... you've been following The Unbelievables, right? As fabulous and fashionably put together as we appear to be, you have to understand formulating a crack crime-fighting team (let alone working within one cohesively) is no piece of cake.

It takes work.

It takes time.

It takes cooperation.

It takes effort to make a team work.

Yep. It takes work, people. And it's not always a comfortable fit right off the bat, either. Oft times blood, sweat and tears need to be infused into the mix for a team to gel into something as swanky, superior and superb as The Unbelievables. We make it look easy but - as you saw in Clark's and Jeff's previous posts - we're still human.


I know you've seen our influences and heroes in previous chapters. With respect to teamwork specifically, I thought I'd toss a few "teams" your way we tend to emulate.
 
For example: You think it was all fun and games for Laurel and Hardy to do all those wonderful things they did time and again?

Of course, Clark leaned toward Ollie, Jeff? Stan.

I loved them both equally.

How 'bout these guys? Was it a laugh a minute for The Marx Brothers?

The resemblance is almost uncanny:
Me, Jeff, Clark (l to r). "Swordfish!"

Nothing but rainbows and unicorns and candy picked from trees for Yakko, Wakko and Dot?

Clark digs Yakko (left), me Wakko (right).

Jeff, curiously, has "a thing" for Dot.

None of them were continually "on." It didn't happen for any of them 24/7. The thrusters weren't firing every waking moment of every minute of every day. That's just fact.

And it's the same for The Unbelievables. Our training, our trademark Unbelieva-Fu, our suave and smooth moves, the Unbelieva-Base ... these things took time to cultivate and perfect. 

And we continue to improve each and every day. 

Despite, you know, the occasional bump in the road ...

Again ... not the shining moment from Clark

as an undercover, multi-tasking neo-Nazi ...

SNAFUs, Foul-ups and Errors

We Unbelievables pride ourselves on being insanely good at crimefighting. It's true. We really are insanely good.
But by being insanely good crimefighters, we become susceptible to some common mistakes that make us actually less good at what we do. Trouble is, it's easy to commit them without noticing.

A great way to prevent yourself from making these mistakes is to become aware of them and to be able to recognize when you are doing them. But hey - that's easier said than done. It usually takes a good dose of Unbelieva-Zen meditation accompanied by a few Bahama Mamas from Red Lobster to do it. At least, that's what works for me.

Mm-mmmm.

The first of these common mistakes is…

Not Wearing The Right Gear

As crimefighters, it is easy to become focused on doing things faster and better so we sometimes forget the point of what we are doing. We use excellent time management tools to fill our schedules with activities and we use a system to get through our huge To Do lists we create for ourselves. Sorry, no, none of that's true. We are some of the most disorganised people we know. And that's saying something. However, we have a system, and 99% of the time, it works.

The problem that arises when you constantly focus on HOW to do things more efficiently (yeah, right) is that we can forget small yet important things, such as the right clothes for the job. Take this picture for an example.

This was the time we infiltrated a Latin American drug ring that were concealing the goods by stuffing them inside soccer balls that were being used by visiting minor league Colombian teams. We went undercover and donned traditional woollen ponchos. What we failed to remember is that soccer tends to be played 90% of the time in the rain, on a muddy pitch, and woollen garments tend to become waterlogged and weigh 400 pounds each. It was a rookie mistake, and no one Unbelievable was responsible for this error, except for Michael, whose idea it was in the first place. We still saved the day, but only after we had fought our way out from under the rain-sodden ponchos. Eesh.

The next mistake we've made is…

Multitasking


That cheesehead talking on the phone while typing an email on his BlackBerry all the while checking out the latest news on the TV has become the poster child for productivity. You might think to yourself, "Hey, that's cool, that's what I want to be able to do, I could get so much done!" Truth is, not only do most people not have enough stuff on their to-do lists to fill up even an hour of their day, but geez, that guy's a dork! Being able to multitask well seems to imply intelligence, but seriously, what's so great about it?
Research has shown that the human brain actually processes one thing at a time. If you are reading a magazine while chatting with your buddies and surfing the Internet, you are actually doing each of those activities one after another and not in parallel. In short, multitasking is a big fat lie.

Clark is one of those people that sometimes makes the mistake of trying to multitask, and somehow he always gets in trouble for it. For example...

Note: he was undercover as a neo-Nazi in this photo. Trying too hard.

The next mistake I shall focus on is...

Using Too Many Tools

OK, we admit it: we like bright, shiny objects.


When there is a new weapon, martial arts move, or shiny new gadget, we want to learn about it. The great thing is that they usually all have some intrinsic value. The problem is that there is a learning curve for each one and you spend a bulk of your time learning how it works as opposed to actually doing what you want to do. Take this new Swiss-Army tool as an example:

You wouldn't believe how long it took to learn what everything this handy-dandy item does. But when we finally got down to the nitty-gritty of every single gizmo and gadget on there and found that they neglected to put a USB stick on there... boy, did we feel foolish! Buyer beware!

Anyway, I'm sure that Michael will have more slip-ups and boobs for you next time. Till then...

Ciao!