Something else we won't do is...

Game shows.
Tried it once.
Didn't work.
Never again.

JOHN DALY: Welcome back to "What's My Line"! Right now we have three mystery guests, which is slightly unusual for this show, but they insisted. They've already signed in so let's get right to the questioning!
ARLENE FRANCIS: Hello mystery guests, how are you?
MICHAEL: Fine, thanks.
JEFF: That's one of the questions, right? It was a question. One down!
JOHN DALY: I think she was just greeting you. Go ahead Arlene.
JEFF: Bunch of cheaters...
ARLENE FRANCIS: Yes, um, well, are you entertainers?
CLARK: Yes.
MICHAEL: No.
CLARK: Yes we are. When we have parties, we entertain our guests.
MICHAEL: She means show business. No, we are not in show business.
JEFF: That's two!
DOROTHY KILGALLEN: Does what you do require uniforms?
MICHAEL: Do you mean pants? Because no.
DOROTHY KILGALLEN: Well, I...
CLARK: It kinda does.
JEFF: Three down!
MICHAEL: It doesn't, though. Not at all.
CLARK: Just because you don't like wearing pants, doesn't mean you should never wear them. There are lots of tactical situations where pants are just a good idea.
MICHAEL: That's a decision that should be left up to the individual. Don't impose your personal preferences on me.
JEFF: Four! Four questions off the board.
CLARK: I don't see why you couldn't wear pants today. We're on television. Plus, you're standing right behind me.
JOHN DALY: The answer is no, panel. They don't wear uniforms. And that's only two questions.
BENNETT CERF: Do you work with animals?
JEFF: Like in an office, with chimpanzees sitting at desks, lions operating the copy machine, narwhals making sales calls? What a stupid question. What kind of world do you think we live in? That should count as two questions. Two dumb questions. Six down, four to go! Four more and we get the money!
JOHN DALY: It's only three and technically, nobody actually answered it...
MICHAEL: Why is it such a big deal all the time whether or not I choose to wear pants? I'm not hurting anyone.
CLARK: It's not a big deal all the time, but when we're out and about. Specifically in the Corvette and the upholstery...
MICHAEL: Oh for Pete's sake! It's vinyl and wipes clean with a damp cloth!
JOHN DALY: Gentlemen, please!
CLARK: It's leather and you know it! I've told you a dozen times!
JEFF: A dozen? That's 12! There are only supposed to be ten questions. Daly, you sneaky, conniving bastard! We win! We win all the money! (Walks off the set followed by CLARK and MICHAEL who continue to argue)
JOHN DALY: Uhhh, I guess we'll go to commercial? Yes, go to commercial and we'll be right back with our next mystery guest, heavyweight boxer Floyd Patterson.
ARLENE: You just told us the next mystery guest's name and occupation!
JOHN DALY: Oh, put a sock in it, will you, Arlene?!?

We'd Do Just About Anything ... But We Won't Do That ...

The following took place a few months ago ...

*ring, ring*

Jeff answered the Unbelieva-Phone.

"Hello? Yes? Yeah? Well ... hold on a moment. That's not my department. Michael's the one you want to talk to ... hold on a moment ..."

I heard my name yelled out.

"What?"

"There's a Standish Coffee on the phone, says he's from San Diego Comic-Con. Pick up, will you?"

"What does he want? I was just about to go out for volleyball practice with a few Unbelieva-Babes ..." I told him.

"No clue. I told him you would handle it."

Hrmphing at the interruption (hey ... you get interrupted en route to a little volleyball practice with the Unbelieva-Babes and see if you don't get tiffed) but somewhat interested at who it was, I picked up the phone. "Hello ... this is Michael ..."

"Michael? Of The Unbelievables? Great. This is Standish Coffee, marketing head of Comic-Con International. I want to extend an invitation to you and your comrades to come down to San Diego next month to do a panel at San Diego Comic-Con. We'll pay for all expenses - travel, lodging, meals. Your panel will be up to you, you can talk about whatever you want for an hour. We'll even schedule you in Ballroom 20, one of the best venues. Thousands will attend. You can do a Q&A, show video, we can arrange an autograph session, whatever you want. Having you guys here will be a thrill. What do you say?"

Clark had overheard Jeff mention Comic-Con and both had congregated around me to try to pick up on what was going on.

"Thanks for the call. We're not interested, though. We appreciated you guys thinking of us. That lodging and travel freebie is mighty tempting. Maybe we can plan for next year if we can have something that jives with what Comic-Con is and does. Later." I hung up.

"Was that Comic-Con? Did I hear right?!? I've never been! I want to go!" Clark said excitedly. "Get back on the phone and tell that guy we'll be there!"

"Clark ... listen to me: Comic-Con is about comics, comic characters, comic books, comic art. We don't have anything to do with any of that ..."

"Are you insane?!? Hollywood has been attending for years! Promoting new TV shows! Debuting movie trailers! Offering stars the chance to show their adoring fans they appreciate them! Don't we want to do that!?!"

"No, we don't. We're not performing monkeys. We don't have a comic book ..." (I jotted a note in a notebook about putting an Unbelievables comic together) "... and we don't need them. Our fans know where we are and they get hold of us whenever they want."

"He's got a point, Clark ..." Jeff muttered. "I mean ... I'd like to go but Michael's right: We'd be swamped if we went. And we don't have any real reason to be there other than as fans. Still ..."

"... but ..." Clark stammered "... Comic-Con! All expenses paid, yes?! Free! Stinkin'! Tickets! To! Comic-Con ... !!! Chicks in superhero costumes!"

So ... now? Clark might have a point ...

"Let's not lose sight of who we are and what we do here, guys. Let's not get caught up in the glamor of it all. I mean ... what can Comic-Con offer that we don't already enjoy or do? We do have the Unbelieva-Babes, remember ..."

The guys reluctantly understood and nodded knowingly.

You see ... The Unbelievables, while we might have carefree and seemingly wild lifestyles and adventures, have an image to maintain. And pandering to the masses is not that image.

This, kicking our enemies out multi-story tower windows however, is:

Jeff and Clark will provide a few other examples when we turned down situations. Or ... they may not ...

I scream, you scream. Stop screaming! It's just ice cream!

Mmm-MM! Who doesn't love ice cream on a hot summer day, or on a cold rainy one for that matter? Criminals, that's who! Deviants, delinquents, malefactors, miscreants and the lactose intolerant.
That's fine. Those shabby hooligans don't get to enjoy these fine flavors of creamy iced-ness.

BUTT-KICKING-ER PECAN
Smooth and creamy with little nutty speedbumps to keep you from breaking the speed limit and gobbling it up too fast, painfully freezing your frontal lobe in the process. This is our take on a classic favorite. "We already know about butter pecan; it's a classic favorite", you say. I know that. I just said so. This is where the KICKING sets in. It's infused with gun powder-flavored testosterone! Two licks in and you'll want to take your shirt off, run outside and lift some weights or beat up some muggers.

STYLISHBERRY SWIRLCAKE
Looking good is important. Tasting good is even more so. We start with genuine Armani strawberries, grown on a tuxedo farm in upper Tuscany. Then we add chunks of George Clooney's wedding cake, mix them up with a cummerbund and some elegant cufflinks. We then parade it up and down a catwalk at a fashion show in Paris, not allowing anyone to sample or photograph it. After Elton John writes a song about it, which is turned into a full-scale Broadway musical. After that is turned into a touring production that visits Chicago, Los Angeles and Toronto but before the rights are available to community theater groups in Cheboygan, Lafayette and Toledo, it's finally time to let the public have the ice cream.

TAWNY ECRU UMBER MAHOGANY MOCHA COCOA DUSKY DEFENESTRATION DELIGHT
This one is just good old fashioned chocolate ice cream, served in a bowl fashioned from the broken glass from all of the various windows Henri Petit has been kicked out of over the years.







So there you have it. We've each presented our three favorite Unbelievable ice cream flavors. Which one is YOUR favorite?

Even More Unbelievably Delicious Delights

Oh, the ice cream. Who doesn't like the ice cream ... ??!!?

Guaranteed, you're going to LOVE my signature flavor ideas:

"Hot Chilly" Chocolate Chunk 

I remember the first time I caught wind of a chili-infused chocolate. I was immediately in love. I was also given a chili chocolate sauce in a gift pack one holiday. It was divine.

So?  << BOOM >>  Chocolate Chili ice cream. Our gourmets are concocting the perfect recipe as you read this. It will be all the rage for the discerning palate. You can't go wrong voting for this one.

Pants Off Dance Off Sherbet 

Look ... not everyone is an ice cream fan. They like the idea of ice cream but they can't indulge because of some lactose intolerance situation or another. The result? Sherbet. But not just any sherbet. A refreshing, light, tasty, exotic fruit sherbet that, at first taste, immediately tempts you back for more. To the point of you needing to get so comfortable you're going to want to doff your pants. Brilliant.

Lobster Rage Fist Delight 

Now, you wouldn't think lobster and ice cream would mesh. But our first rate confectioners have created a succulent, sweet, indescribable delight you couldn't ever imagine. (I've snagged some of the first tastes. It's different and delectable.) Perfect for the after dinner diner who thinks he's too posh to do ice cream.

Pow. Delights to tantalize, courtesy of yours truly. Coming soon to your local grocer and available for a limited time, this summer only. But ... you have to vote for them!
 

Fun Fact: None of us knew the others' creations so both Jeff and I are looking forward to Clark's confections come Friday.

Unbelievably Delicious

Things sure are heating up around here! Not only have our exploits been made into a video game, but a famous manufacturer of ice cream whose name shall for now be kept a secret (we don't want any industry 'moles' leaking secret recipes and so forth) have pitched us the idea of a limited-edition line of Unbelievable Ice Creams. They want us to come up with our best ideas for our flavours, so what we thought would be fun would be to describe our ideas to you this week and then you folks, our dear readers, can get to vote for your favourites. We each get to suggest three dynamite flavour combos for you and then you tell us what you want to see in an ice-cream cone.

The maufacturer (whom we shall refer to henceforth as 'Jen & Berries' just to make it easier on everyone)will then take our winning ideas and start to develop them into actual, real ice creams for public consumption. OK? Here are my three suggestions.

1. JEFF'S WHIPPED POTATO DELIGHT Mashed potato and roasted garlic (the caramelisation of the roasted garlic brings out the natural sugars) are the key ingredients here, folded into whisked egg and double Jersey cream, a touch of sugar and a pinch of basil. Spread out thinly and quick-frozen, then shaved and packed into tubs. Whaddya think?

2. UNBELIEVABANANA The idea for this one comes from my favourite cream-based cocktail recipe, The Banana Cow, which involves rum, grenadine, creme de banana and heavy cream. BOOM. Recipe? Why sure. http://cocktailblender.com/recipe/banana_cow.html It's a big favourite at our cocktail and weenie roast soirées.

3. BUTT-KICKIN' BUTTER PECAN Basically, butter pecan and butterscotch ice creams are swirled together with chunks of Butterfinger bars and Reese's Peanut Butter Cups, with a central core of salted butter and caramel. EMT's on standby for this one. Here's a mock-up of the carton.

Wednesday, Michael will present you his shortlist. Ciao!

Game Over

You've heard of time getting away from you, right?

Well ... what day is it today?

It's Sunday. Late Sunday.

And, if you follow The Unbelievables and our blogs, you know our posts debut Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays as cases of regularity. (Usually.)

This week? No post on Friday, which was my entry to insert.

And there's a reason I've been remiss in posting.

Clark stated Monday our game is a qualified success ... and it is. It's a kick and a half to play. The interaction is first rate, so much so you can easily get lost in all the action. For hours.

And hours. And hours.

Friday was the first opportunity I got to give it a whirl. And guess what?

Yup. I got lost in it. All of Friday ... and into early Saturday morning. And right on through to Sunday. All day long

There are so many hidden, secretive surprises ingrained into the play of the game it's difficult to cut loose and take a break. Really!

I mean ... you'd think it would get old tossing that ugly little imp baby Henri Petit out a 23 story window to the waiting pavement below. But our crack team of developers input an unlimited number of curses Henri screams as he plunges to his awaiting fate, a nice, hard block of sidewalk. Fun stuff!

They've given players the opportunity to win extra bonus points and lives each time you offer a "Hello, ladies!" to passing gals. Who knew there were so many whipped potato recipes to concoct when you play as Jeff? And the comedy goes without saying when you get the chance to doff your pants as yours truly. (Triple bonus points scored if you can do so in under 20 seconds while wearing Lobster Rage Fists! It took me most of Saturday morning to master this little feat ...)

And the princesses ... *swoon* ...

Can you see how easy it is to get distracted with features like these? Order yours today!

(Luckily, Clark and Jeff have forgiven me for shirk my duties. Such Unbelieva-Buddies!)

Takin' It To The Streets (Well, The Arcades Anyway)

AMAZING NEWS!!

Hot on the heels of Monday's revelation that we are now being made into a video game, I can now exclusively reveal that plans are afoot to turn us into an ARCADE game! Yes!

Now you can be the envy of your friends by playing this stylish and super cool game. Never mind Frogger, Asteroids and Galaxian! Get lost, Duke Nukem and Metal Gear Solid!

Even The Fonz is jealous.

Yes, all your pals will be lining up to be "AAA" on the leaderboard! They'll want to hold the knobs and play as me or Michael. Some people might even want to be Clark, you never know. Stranger things have happened.

A scene which will become commonplace within weeks.

All the features of the home console version will still be there, and a few surprises too. For example, you can customize Clark's 'Vette, add extra Lobster Rage Fists and score extra points for kicking Henri Petit out of windows. What more could you want from a game?