The Great Freak Snowstorm Party (or, the case of the dirty punchbowl)

It was Yuletide down in Stiletto Flats
And downtown was all twinkly and sparkly
But in a top-secret location
We three fellas looked through a glass, darkly.

"This punchbowl is filthy,", said Michael.
"Who soiled it? I really must know!"
The other two of us three
Were as puzzled as he - 
But right then, it started to snow.

"Snow? In Nevada? Really?" said Clark,
"It isn't unheard of, but rare..."
I stood scratching my head.
"Let's get out the sled!",
Cried Michael. We others yelled "Yeah!"

We called up a few of our cohorts
And said "Hey everybody, c'mon!"
"The snow's coming down, let's build snowmen,
And go sledding before it's all gone!"

The first to arrive was The Kitsch Bitsch
And she made a beeline for the bar.
(No, it's not what you think,
She was mixing some drinks!)
Then she saw the punchbowl and cried "AARGH!"

"This punchbowl is filthy, who soiled it?"
We all looked at her and gave a shrug.
She stared at us guys
Arms akimbo, and sighed
"No matter, I'll just use this jug."

Some other guests started arriving
Marissa was dressed for the weather.
She looked just like Anna Karenina-
But 75 times more clever.

Laura was stunning in her teal blue coat
Accented with what looked like snow.
She said "the old El Dorado refuses to start,
So I skied all the way, dontcha know."

We all went out to the backyard
Which was blanketed thickly in white.
Guests were building snowvillains
And making snow forts
And having a huge snowball fight.

Then the band "Playgirl Club" made their entrance
They set up their gear and plugged in.
They sound a bit like Grand Funk Railroad
With a bit of Mel Torme thrown in.

The KB, our mentor, gave us a drink,
Saying "I call this an Irish Mule.
It's icy, yet fiery with ginger,
And a kick like Peter O'Toole."

(For recipe, see below)

Well, those drinks warmed us up, that's for sure,
And the party, it went with a bang.
It was getting quite late in the evening
When Clark slapped his head and went "Dang!"

"What's up buddy boy?" said Michael and I.
"What irks you? What's giving you grief?"
He replied "The punchbowl! It's my fault!"
Michael muttered, "Well, that's a relief."

Clark said "I used it to transplant seedlings,
from the garden to my terrarium.
"I just set it down when I walked back inside - On the shelf right next to the aquarium."

"No, it's my fault," I said. "Blame me, guys."
"I used it to make whipped potatoes in."
"I thought they were earthy and tasted quite dirty - 
That explains it!" said Michael with a grin.

"But I must tell you guys, I'd be lying
If I didn't explain what I knew.
I used it myself, before you did - 
Cleaning mud from the sole of my shoe."

So that was the punchbowl mystery solved
And we had a good laugh and a giggle.
Then we unplugged the band and switched on the hi-fi
(The band's music had started to niggle.)

We three headed into the kitchen
Clark made a huge batch of hot cocoa.*
I cooked up my world-famous waffles
(Jamie Oliver's recipe. Sshh! they don't know.)*

We all sat and chilled out, munching waffles,
(Which we dunked in the cocoa - yum yum!)
All the guests went back home, with a tear in their eye-
Well, that's not quite true. Not everyone.
(Hello, ladies!!!)

The next morn, the snow had all melted,
And you'd never have known it was there.
But those who were there have their memories
Of the freak snowstorm party that year.

So let's raise a glass of something,
And wish good will to all, peace on earth.
Happy holidays to all and sundry
(even villains... for what it's worth.)


*Recipes follow...

http://www.jamieoliver.com/recipes/chocolate-recipes/epic-hot-chocolate/

http://www.jamieoliver.com/recipes/eggs-recipes/griddle-pan-waffles/

Irish Mule Recipe:
-1 part good quality Irish Whiskey
-2 parts Jamaican style Fiery Ginger Beer 
-Aromatic Cocktail Bitters
-several lime wedges and juice of 2 whole limes

In a large pitcher half filled with ice, mix together whiskey, ginger ale, and juice from 2 limes. Top off with 2 splashes of bitters. Garnish with the lime wedges.


Sit back, drink, and enjoy!

NB: For a Kentucky Mule, substitute the Irish Whiskey for Bourbon.

Unbelieva-Tips #'s 4 - 9

Following Jeff's Unbelieva-Tips lead from Monday, why don't we just keep keepin' on?


Unbelieva-Tip #4:  "Always keep'em guessing"

That's right ... and this not only works on multiple facets, on different levels and is unique when applied to different individuals, but if you play the confusion game correctly they'll never know what you're truly up to ... even when they already know. (Plus, it compliments Unbelieva-Tip #2 Jeff mentioned last post.)

"I know what you're up to, you know."

"Well ... I'm pretty certain I know what you're up to."

"Look, you can't fool me - I've seen you do this before."

"That is what you're going to do ... isn't it? "

"Okay ... give me a hint. Now. Please."

"CRIPES AND CRIPES ... !!! JUST TELL ME WHAT YOUR PLANS ARE SO I CAN GET ON WITH THE REST OF MY DAY, ALREADY ... !!!"

See what I mean?


Unbelieva-Tip #5:    "It's better to remain silent and be thought a fool rather than open your mouth and remove all doubt"

I learned this from my father who mistakenly took it as a quotation from Abraham Lincoln. Rather, it has roots courtesy of The Bible, Proverbs 17:28: "Even fools are thought wise if they keep silent and discerning if they hold their tongues."

It goes hand in hand with "always keep'em guessing" above.
  Unbelieva-Tip #6:    "You can't snow the snowman"

Think about it: You start a snowball fight with a snowman. Now ... who do you think is going to win? Enough said.


Unbelieva-Tip #7:    "'Always' and 'Never' are absolutes. Always remember never to use them."

No matter how you use these words, you're never going to get them right. You're always going to screw up when you commit them to print or use them as part of your regular vernacular. 

Get it? Got it? Good ...


Unbelieva-Tip #8:    "Don't go changing to try and please me. I love you just the way you are."

Yep ... you got it: Billy Joel. Dude was pretty wise when he wrote that and it still holds true to this very day.

If there's one thing The Unbelievables love about our foes, it's the fact they're pretty predictable. Honestly ... we love that. They do the same damned things over and over and over and over again, mixing it up only slightly to throw a wrench in the machine (they think) every once in a while. But ... they're creatures of habit. Their old ways surface and bubble to the top of the saucepan revealing who they really are. Silly villains ...
  Unbelieva-Tip #9:    "If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands."



This doesn't apply only to campfire songs you sing while sitting around roasting marshmallows, you know. It's perfect for any occasion.

Stop right in the middle of what your doing and sing it out loud ... followed, of course, by a raucous << clap, clap >> afterward. You immediately feel better. 

Because, really: Don't we all want to feel better about everything?

Next up: Clark's super Unbelieva-Tips