No Trax At All

"The Hammertrax Gang hasn't actually done anything but this still bears further investigation ... we've got some digging to do!"

- Clark last Wednesday

After hanging up on Petit, Clark called out to Jeff: "Jeff! Get Michael! We need to talk ..."

Jeff turned the corner and took a seat across from Clark. "Michael took off while you were on the phone with Petit. No clue where he went ..."

Clark dialed me up. Of course having caught wind of Miss Sterious, Mistress of Mystery (http://the-unbelievables.blogspot.com/2017/08/trax-listing.html) (and the fact she was a redhead) I was all over getting to the bottom of who she was. It's no secret I'm a sucker for redheads and I was taking the initiative on this one. Besides, she had a nifty gun. And, from the picture provided of her, it looked like she knew how to use it. I was naturally intrigued. 

Seeing the call come in from Clark, I answered the phone. "Hey, what's up?"

"Where are you? We need to powwow. I have information from Petit about the Hammertrax Gang."

"It just so happens I'm on a mission to find out all about Miss Sterious. Thought I'd jump the gun and get started" I informed him.

"Well, high-tail it back to base. The Hammertrax bunch is fake as is that Floating Jack McFadden dude and the redhead you're after. In other words, their complete figments of the imagination! Sorry to squash your hopes and dreams about the supposed Mistress of Mystery, but you want find her ..."

"But" I stammered "I saw her picture! Plain as day!"

"Fabricated," Clark stated.

"Hello! Red hair!"

"Probably a wig on some no name dame Petit hired to pull a fast one on us."

"And ... she has a gun!"

"It's a hoax! No gun, no red hair, no Miss Sterious. And there's no Hammertrax Gang either ... at least not the way we were led to believe. I got the lowdown from Petit. Guido, Liam and Chong? They're really just a bunch of smoking adult/children like Petit. And they haven't done anything ... nothing at all. There's no case, period. Get back here ..."

I hung up the phone. I felt defeated. The thrill of the chase was gone, deflated like an old balloon. I'd gotten my hopes up for nothing ...

I put my phone in my pocket and headed back to the Unbelieva-Base and heaved a sorry sigh ...

Gone ... With The Nudist?

In the first 24 hours of Jeff's post about Len Scapp's supposed "retirement" ("... if you think you've seen any sign of our man Len, drop us a line, won't you?") the floodgates of inquiry swung wide open.

Most of the concern went something like this:

"Hey, Unbelievables: It sure seems like you guys - or people you know or are associated with - go missing for some reason or another pretty damned often. It's either kidnappings, someone gets lost, retirement, extended vacations and the like. What gives?"

"You know ... they have a point," Jeff noted when the three of us sat down to discuss the situation.

"Somehow, I have a hunch this thing leads to Michael ..." Clark shot me a laser-eyed accusatory look and held up several of the photos. The ones of the redheads.

"Hey ... don't blame me!" I snatched the photos from Clark's hand. "Look ... I'll offer this: We can nix a third of the suspects right off the bat because they're redheads. I admit ... I *cough* know all of them on one *cough* level or another from past *hack,cough* dealings ..."


"I told you," Clark offered.

"Just as the sun rises in the east, we know he does dig the redheads," Jeff admitted looking Clark's way. Clark nodded in agreement.

"... and, diabolically, if they had anything to do with anything, nefarious though each of them may be, they'd come after me. I'd be the one missing, not Lenny." Reluctantly, my two compatriots were on board with that assessment.

I tossed the photos of the redheads on the ground, took the others and looked at them. "Any of these dames have dealings with him recently?"

Just then, Kip The Mail Boy strolled in the room eating an apple. "What's up, guys?"

Clark glared at Kip. (Everyone knows Clark regards Kip with distrust and bitter resentment.)

"Lenny's missing. We're following up on some leads ..." I responded.

"Lemme see," Kip said taking a chomp out of his snack noisily. I handed him the photos "Think I'd zero in on Doris if I were you ..."

"Why's that?" Jeff and I asked in unison. Clark just growled lowly and threateningly at Kip.

"Len has really been frequenting our magazines of late when he comes by ... especially the nudist magazines."

One of Lenny's preferred periodicals of late ...

He picked out one of the photos I was holding and turned it around for us to see.

"Isn't Doris Gumph a nudist?"

... hhmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm ...