Are You Qualified?

Many aspiring Unbelievababes write, call or email us, asking us what it would take for them to qualify. What are the qualities we Unbelieva-gents look for in potential female companions/assistants? Well, firstly, if you think that all the Unbelievababes are is a bunch of female companions and assistants, be aware that they are much, much more than that. Both Clark and Michael have outlined what the Unbelievababes are capable of and the rigorous training they go through in order to maintain their Unbelievababe credentials.

Firstly, you have to be fearless, brave, fierce. If you are the sort of person who reacts to crises like this...

...then just stop right now. You will not cut the mustard.

Secondly (and quite importantly) you have to be female. 

Sorry, sir. Apply elsewhere.

Third, you need to be able to kick ass if necessary.

Four - you need to be able to look immaculate at all times.

Five, know your way around the kitchen.

Sophia's got the idea.

A little too peppy, methinks.

Better, but all you're doing is boiling water. Careful, you might get a scald.

A bit messy, and you've ruined the eggs.

Well done, Rachael.

I think what it boils down to is you need to keep three images in mind. One...

Brave, fierce..

Two...

courteous, accommodating...

Three...

no slouch with a recipe book.

Oh, and if it helps, just ponder on the images above and below, and it might put you in the right frame of mind. Maybe then you'll get to join the ranks of the Unbelievababes.

The Sweetest Comeback Ever?

Sooo... I guess you're all aware by now that Twinkies, the nutritional equivalent of trucker hats, are back on the shelves in the good ole U.S. of A. Just when you thought it was safe to go down to the Kwik-E-Mart for a six pack of PBR and a cardboard tray full of flavoured sandpaper covered in tasteless molten yellow lava  serving of nachos, there's the box of nasty spongey things staring at you, just taunting you... "you want to buy me, don'tcha... you know you do... c'monnnn, just for old times' sake...". That's the LAST thing you want or need, and the last thing you should think about doing. 

Remember back last November when the Twinkies disappeared? We wrote about the whole sorry saga. Well, now they're back, saved from extinction by Apollo Global Management (Carl's Jr.) and Metropoulos & Co. (PBR, as it happens). At least, that's what they want you to think. We are keeping a very close eye on the affairs of Hostess, lest we suffer a repeat of last year's doings. Watch this space.