It's me! Right? Of course it is.

I know Jeff and Michael have written entries about the saucy comment we received from a "Teresa W" regarding her desire to sleep with an Unbelievable but I didn't read them. I don't need to. Because I know I'm the one that she wants and it doesn't matter what they say.
Listen, I love my crime-fighting colleagues. We're like brothers. But come on. Face facts.

Jeff = British.

Michael = Utterly obsessed with sweaters.

Me = Neither of those things. 

Plus, who has the car?

Boom, right? Exactly.

So listen, Teresa W. Let me talk to you. (Dim lights, cue Al Green record)

Hey girl.

Mmmm. You look good, baby. 

Please allow me to quote myself: "Mmmm".

Yeah baby. Lookin' very good!

Like a submarine sandwich. Not from a fast food restaurant or a grocery store but from a deli.

Ooh yeah. Cold cuts. Veggies. A nice Italian dressing on a soft roll. Everythang!

What's that? You call them hoagies? That's cool, baby. 

But listen, girl.

We got some things we gotta get straight between us before we can proceed to the smooshing of bodies together, you dig?

The Nazi thing? Yeah, I ain't feelin' that.

Nazis aren't sexy. 

Sure, they're funny. They're hilarious!

Sometimes

But not sexy.

There are other uniforms I can wear instead. Like a UPS man. Or a cop. Or the guy you call when a raccoon crawls under your house and dies.

Does that work for you, baby? Yeah, I thought so.

I know I said we had things to straighten out, like, as in, "more than one", but that's really it. Everything else is good to go.

Because perpetrators of hatred and genocide ain't my bag, baby.

Mmmm.

Call Me, Maybe ...

So ... we got a comment a week ago Wednesday. A rather interesting one at that:

At the risk of identifying myself as a bad person, I find the damsels in distress at the hands of the Nazis a highly erotic concept. Also, I would like to sleep with one of the Unbelievables. Which one of those two statements is worse? - Teresa W

I don't know what Clark's take on it is - we'll find out what he has to say soon enough - but I can tell you in no uncertain terms Jeff is dead wrong with his assessment.

The comment is not a set up, it's not fake and it certainly isn't any sort of ruse. But Jeff got one thing right: The commenter's sign-off - "Teresa W" - is a pseudonym of the word "sweater" ... and an obvious nod to the fact she's enamored with The Unbelievables and our unique fashion sense.

Which one, however? Which Unbelievable does she gravitate toward?

Me, of course.

The skeptical among you (yes, I'll admit there probably are one or two of you out there) will require proof Teresa W has her sights set on yours truly. I'm more than willing to offer up foundations for my claim:

Obvious Exhibit of Proof #1: Sweater Fantastickness

 Yep. That's me all right. Burden of proof lifted. One glance at that photo and there's no further need. It's worth a thousand words, you know.

Obvious Exhibit of Proof #2: A Mountain of Stud

Oh, okay. One more picture.

Here I am in all my undercover moustachioed glory in one of The Unbelievables' more notorious cases, "Dudes." Now ... enough with the photographic evidence. Teresa W is probably reading this right now mad with desire.

Obvious Exhibit of Proof #3: Treating The Ladies Right

The Unbelievables have the distinct power to elevate the ladies ("Hello, Ladies!") to heights they never thought possible. Teresa W is no doubt aware of this. Be it a Vegas showgirl, an Unbelieva-Babe or other, credentials such as those added to your resume will get you further than you can imagine! And while Jeff and Clark are just as capable, I show special concern and added attention in those areas ... if you know what I mean.

Obvious Exhibit of Proof #4: Education
 

Speaking of job opportunities, get in good with The Unbelievables and we provide further value added services. Long ago I put together a little computer primer for the fairer sex which only a lucky few are privy to. Because you can't walk out the door of your house without bumping into a computer during your day, you might as well become knowledgeable in their workings. This is an excellent instructional guide! (Note: Dorothy Heller and June Bower were my personal ghost writers for this tome.)

You know what? I think that's plenty of proof right there as basis for the rhyme and reason of Teresa W's wants. After all, I don't want to look like a braggart.

Teresa W? Call me maybe...