Blob blah blah

"It didn't take long before Clark came up with something that took the spin out of the situation's sails and put everything in perspective ..."

"Let's squish him", I said.

Jeff and Michael just looked at me. Eventually, one of them said "what?" and the other one said "huh?" I don't remember which said what. Or huh.

"Let's squish him! Let's run up from behind, leap into the air and land on him with all the force of our combined weight and flatten him right down to the floor. If he really is Mr. Blobby, it won't hurt him, on account of him being made of blob material", I explained patiently.
"And if he isn't Mr. Blobby?", Jeff queried. "What then?"
I shrugged my shoulders. "I don't know. It could be cool."
"'It could be cool'?!?", Michael repeated incredulously. "That's your answer? How does that solve this case?"
I replied, "I'll be honest, I'm not sure what the case is at this point. We talked about RudeMan last week, and then we went to Qaqortoq, Greenland and we couldn't find him (although I did meet two nice girls there)

Aaruna and Batse. They're sisters!

so Charlie Sheen and Mr. Rogers got in a fight, with Charlie Sheen being in only slightly better health by virtue of not being declared legally dead yet and graffiti and mooning and now Mr. Blobby, I have kind of a short attention span and I'm already more than a day late with my chapter in the story so I thought maybe we could just wrap up the whole thing with a random act of violence and move on to something else on Monday, spending the remainder of the weekend doing Qaraoke in Qaqortoq with Aaruna and Batse."

Jeff and Michael looked at each other, frustrated with me and my lack of worthwhile contribution. That's when I said, "they have four more sisters, you know."

(L to R) Føbe, Gudrun, Ingka and Kaanaq with Aaruna and Batse (or is that Ingka, then Kaanaq...?)

Finally Michael announced, "I got dibs on all Journey songs!" and off we went.

So... The End?... I guess?

Is There Really A Blob On The Landscape?

You remember The Rather Sad Case Of Mr. Blobby, right?

In many ways it was one of The Unbelievables' most disturbing cases. Disturbing because it showcased the unfortunate mental breakdown of a character in the wrong place at the wrong time. It wasn't Mr. Blobby's fault he was inundated with some of the commentary surrounding him. "A metaphor for a nation gone soft in the head." "Proof of Britain's deep-seated attraction to trash." And these are some of the nicer critiques of the character. 

Put two and two together and you can see where this is leading: Original Mr. Blobby creator Charlie Adams.

"But ... he's dead," Jeff noted. And Jeff was absolutely correct. 

"A minor inconvenience," Clark offered. And it was.

We put two and two together once more and << VOILA! >>: Noel Edmonds of BBC's Noel's House Party where Mr. Blobby was first featured ... and as a regular (and annoying) character. He was behind all the shenanigans!

But I reasoned him out of contention: "The thing is, though, Edmonds is up there. He's in his late 60s. Add to that his real estate developments and previous and successful public career and he has no reason to perform any monkey business of the sort we're looking into, let alone with or as Mr. Blobby ..." The guys were in agreement.

And that's when the lightbulbs lit over all our heads: Previous Mr. Blobby protrayer Barry Killerby. We had our RudeMan!

Culprit?

"Wait ... him? He's RudeMan ... !!!???!?? But why ... ??? Or ... is he? And what does that have to do with Charlie Sheen if anything? Or painted graffiti 'member' on a wall with misspellings?!?" These were just some of the thoughts rolling around in our minds as we glanced at each other silently back and forth, thinking the obvious. (When something seems straightforward, we rarely have to speak out loud to make ourselves understood. It's a handy Unbeliev-ability.)

It didn't take long before Clark came up with something that took the spin out of the situation's sails and put everything in perspective ...

A Blob On The Landscape

Our search for RudeMan received a little boost this week after he apparently received our little note. Saturday morning we received a postcard with this picture on the front.

This was enough to make Michael spit out a chunk of Cabot Vermont Cheddar. (He says munching on it makes him feel smart. So there ya go.)

"Pp-p-pp-t-tt-tooey! Charlie Sheen? What th'...?"

"I'm guessing this is in response to Mr. Rogers," said Clark, guessing correctly.  

"Does it say anything on the reverse?" I enquired.

"Oh myyy," said Michael, flipping the card.

WARNING: What follows is probably NSFW, so we've censored it as much as possible without totally obscuring it.

"Wait just a second! Great Scott! Hokey smokes, Bullwinkle!" cried Clark. "I think this may be a clue!"

"Oh yeah, in what way?" I asked.

"Well, you should know, Jeff. It's something that happened in your homeland. I read about it on the wire last week!"

"Yeah?"

"This lady had graffiti spray painted on her outside wall that did not look too dissimilar to this one. Only in her case, there was a message accompanying it.

"What was the message?" Michael and I said.

"Wait, I'll pull it up on the screen. Ah, here it is."

Here's the link for you folks. http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/vandals-spray-obscene-graffiti-womans-10135867

"Y'know, the phrase 'big black cook' may not be a misspelling. It's entirely possible it may be in code!"

We immediately set to with various methods of codebreaking, and after 15 minutes Michael figured out that it was an anagram of "GO KICK A BLOB,C?"

Could it be...

Surely not?

The Rather Sad Case Of Mr. Blobby

"Was there something in the water? Did the nation really once fall about laughing at the clumsy antics of a bloke in a big pink rubber costume with yellow blobs all over it?"

In the end, this was the criticism of the once wildly-popular Mr. Blobby. It made Britain the laughing stock of the comedy world.

But Mr. Blobby is a cautionary tale, a "character flaw" (so to speak) that everyone should learn from.

As Jeff detailed last episode, Mr. Blobby was one of the four most awful characters ever created ...



... and that irked Mr. Blobby's original creator, Charlie Adams. Especially when the rather nauseating yellow-splotched meatbag was included with the likes of Orko, Snarf and ring-leader David The Gnome. If something went wrong some weekday evening? This Foulsome Foursome was immediately blamed. A devious act perpetrated? They had to be the cause. They were the fall guys of everything from halitosis to bad manners.

And, smack dab in the middle of it all, who got the brunt of the blame?

Mr. Blobby.

That didn't sit well with Mr. Adams, knowing a beloved character he'd birthed suddenly became the epitome of vilification, falling into a "wrong" crowd and being blamed by the public for just about everything under the sun.
 
And Mr. Blobby was his own worst enemy. He didn't help his cause any. First off, he didn't say anything coherent but "Blobby! Blobby! Blobby!" He acted like a spoiled child who wouldn't eat his dinner. And he looked like animated gallons of Pepto Bismal that didn't settle well. And that dopey smile ... *yeesh* Is it any wonder he was annoying?

So ... the face of world wide web costume atrocities had its whipping boys ... with Mr. Blobby front and center. Because, really ... what good could come of him? Surely he (along with his cronies) just had to be the culprits behind ill-conceived costume design! Halloween ruined forever more by the quartet!

Thus, the intent of Charlie Adams gone awry, to show the world his creation wouldn't go down without a fight: "I'll show them who's boss! Mr. Blobby will exact his revenge!"

The kicker all along, however, was this: While Charlie may have publickly put in motion the foundering of costume creations everywhere, it really went no farther than that. He didn't actually do anything to warrant such a movement. He just mouthed off a bit, slouched a lot and accepted begrugingly that Mr. Blobby would have a detrimental caveat placed in his history.

In reality, the buying public - thinking they could create the perfect Halloween costume by simply purchasing a simple pattern and some supplies and get to gettin' - was the real problem. You see ... everyone thinks they can sew and put something together ... but look at them: Do you see evidence of such from this family?

Of course not. Word of mouth swept the nation and, not wanting to be embarrassed by admitting they didn't know what they were doing and couldn't create the perfect outfit, they instead pointed the finger at some sad and lowly television characters, compounding their already unpopular states.

Ever hear of "mob mentality" ... ??? Swarming groups of people who instigate general social anarchy and mayhem? With the facilitation of the world wide web, that's just what happened, costumally speaking. They put their inability to create right at the the ends of their fingers and stabbed Mr. Blobby with them. Truly, one of the oddest of The Unbelievables' cases we've ever looked into.

It doesn't mean Mr. Blobby isn't still one of the creepiest, most pitiful and ridiculous characters ever, but ... well ... he comes close.

Unless you're either of these guys ...

... and that's rather sad ...