Gary Flurve vs The Unbelievables

The plaintiff

Long ago, one of our harshest critics was a man named Gary Flurve. His complaints were very similar to the simpering whinings - or whining simpers - of "George" (Hmm, Gary? George? Hmm.). 'Who told you you could', 'who do you think', 'how dare you', etc. He was so bent out of shape about it that he sued us! His complaint: We couldn't be The Unbelievables because of the fact that we exist, therefor rendering us quite easily believable. He hired a lawyer and dragged us into court.

Here's how that went...

MARCIA SNAGFOOT (Flurve's attorney): "Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, please allow me to show you some individuals who are truly unbelievable."

"Ladies and gentlemen, these are fictional characters and therefor inherently unbelievable. Clark, Jeff and Michael, the three gentlemen who refer to themselves as 'The Unbelievables' are sitting right there. Look at them! Totally there, existing in our universe and totally believable. Nothing further!"

What Marcia Snagfoot didn't know was that prior to the trial beginning, our lawyer, the esteemed Chung Poon, had arranged for this little lady to be seated in the gallery:

CHUNG POON: "Your honor, is Ms. Snagfoot really trying to tell all of us here in this courtroom that they shouldn't believe in Santa Claus? All of us? (cocks thumb at little girl seated behind him)"
MARCIA SNAGFOOT: "I object!"
JUDGE: "Ms. Snagfoot, you are a reprehensible creature. A monster! You are hereby held in contempt of innocence and dreams and I sentence you to live all alone on a jungle island infested with tigers. Case dismissed! All hail The Unbelievables!" (Courtroom bursts into spontaneous cheers of joy as a bailiff throws a pie into the face of Gary Flurve)

Now, you may be questioning the character of Chung Poon and his exploitation of an innocent child for the sake of winning a favorable verdict for his clients. Well, you may be surprised to learn that the adorable little girl in the courtroom that day...

 ...was actually the incredibly talented Charlize Theron using her actor talent power to portray a little girl.

See how Poon is a genius?
See how it all circles back to our involvement with celebrities?
See how truly Unbelievable we are?

Needless to say, we're suing.

This showed up in our in-box the other day:

It's a promotional photo from the NBC show "Grimm", currently seen on Tuesday nights at 10pm (9 Central). It's also a complete rip-off of our patented catch-phrase, "Hello, Ladies". Well, less of a patented catch-phrase than a standard greeting we say a lot, simply because we tend to frequently encounter ladies in groups and it would simply be rude to not say hello. Anyway, we say this all the time and everybody knows it. Normally, we're very tolerant of people "paying tribute" to us by copying us or repeating what we say. It's just one of those things that comes with being stylish trendsetters.

When this is what you slip on to run out and get the paper, what are you gonna do?

But this? This juxtaposition of three macho dudes staring intently into the camera behind the words "Hello, Ladies"? All in an effort to influence people to watch some television program (again, "Grimm", Tuesday nights, 10/9c on NBC). Well, that's crossing a line. Plus, the phallic imagery? Tacky! We prefer a much more subtle and stylish approach, thank you.



"Um, can I talk to you guys about these new uniforms?"

 So our executive assistant Eliza (seen above) will be firing off a cease-and-desist notice immediately to the powers that be at NBC (America's favorite network!). If that doesn't do the trick, we'll be taking further legal action.

Like I said, this isn't something we like to do, but it happens from time to time. I'll bet Jeff and Michael can remember other instances when we had to go litigious on somebody's ass.