More Unobsessibles

We've got our eye on you, Unobsessibles

Clark hit the nail on the head about many of our foes. (Personally, I think they come from broken homes with bad childhood experiences ... but that's just a theory of mine.)

Still, you gotta watch out for some of these Bozo noses ...

Dander Puss

Oh ... he's innocent now. (I think it's a he. No judgment here.) But wait until whatever obsession he's exhibiting takes a turn for the worse. 

Can you imagine? Hairball hacking superpowers ... allergic reaction ray guns ... incessant mind control torture meowing ... rampant apathy. The list could go on and on ... and on.

Chanita Jones aka Furbelly

A couple miles over  from Dander Puss is this character. Put the two together and who knows what evil they could come up with as a team ...

Grandma Establishment

I see this piece of work doing much more than waving a cane above her head and yelling at kids to stay off her damned lawn. Don't you? (Note: Sorry for the graphicness of the above photo. Some of these wackos are blatant and uncultured.)

Natasha "Knows"

Gross. Just ... gross.
  

Melonhead

What a goofball.

Still, what could he be planning, if anything? The reintroduction of watermelon seeds to everyone's favorite summer fruit? (Scandalous!) Some sort of rind chicanery? (Unthinkable!) Melon ball panic mania? (What?!?) Who knows?

Tom Smith

(Better known as "LGBT-atarian")

What sinister dealings (or color schemes) this possible Obsessive might have lurking in the folds of his muumuu is anyone's guess. I shudder to think. *shudder*

But it's this next group we might really have to keep a closer than usual eye on. Because it's not the group itself but the brains behind the curtain, so to speak, that could drum up bad business ...

This is an example of an innocent little tyke dolled up in a Santa outfit. Cute as a button, isn't he? 

And that, right there, is the problem. Can you see the potential of this kid - or a bevy of them - being the center of attention while devious doings are afoot behind the scenes?

You betcher Bippy. Just imagine it: People's attentions distracted by all that lovablenness while crime is being committed not a stone's throw away. Despicable! Contemptible! And absolutely within the realm of possibility. The chaos and no-good-doer-y of this unnamed menace are limitless. And, with the Christmas season practically upon us, that's why we've got a bead on this viable threat.

Jeff might have a couple more we missed. Stay tuned for Friday's entry ...

Up Around The U-Bend

HB2, or the "Bathroom Bill" in North Carolina is one of those silly laws (well, not yet - it's just a bill) made up by dumb ol' guys whose views are still firmly entrenched in the olden days when men were men and women did the housework. These people simply do not understand how a human body works and they think that there's something intrinsically dangerous about letting people of differing genders mingle freely in the bathrooms of the world. These are the people who think that being gay is a disorder of some sort, that you can "catch gay" and that gays can be "scared straight" when we all know that it isn't a choice, it just happens. Which is why we are not concerned with the restrooms of N.C.

These people wouldn't know a dangerous loo if they got their heads shoved down one and flushed for 15 minutes. We've seen some bathroom danger in our time, let me tell ya.

Critters in the lav is one of the nasty things that can occur
from time to time. You wouldn't want to see these when heading for a little private time.

*shiver*

Then of course there are toilets that are dangerous even without animals.

Could give one a nasty cut.

Careful not to move about too much in this one.

Then there are the ones that do your head in.

How am I supposed to get to it?

For those of you that want to know how it feels to take a dump on a ski jump.

How am I supposed to sit on this?

Make your own joke here.

Then, there are the rogue toilets. The truly evil crappers. The ones that swallow humans whole.

The best thing to do is to follow some good advice, usually found in any bathroom stall in the world:

Oh, and cat owners... this has to stop.

Michael will be with you on Friday with more tales of danger, toilets (maybe) and other stuff (you never know with Michael, he can be kinda random sometimes).

(Klumpmaster) Flashes In The Pan

How?

How could I have fallen so hard for the wiles of the Klumpmasterflash Twins?

Because the fact of the matter is that I did. (That Jeff ... he *had* to bring them up ...)

It's not like I turn my head at every Bombshell, Nicolette and Mary who walks past. ("Hello, Ladies!") But ... The Klumpmasterflash Twins were something special. Interesting. Exciting. Intriguing. And damned dangerous.

I mean ... look at those do's and tell me you aren't affected by their attractiveness? After all, The Unbelievables - stylish gents that we are - have an eye for the couture, you know.

Greta and Gerta tripped my trigger something fierce, though. As a young lad, I was taken by their devil-may-care style and forceful wills ... and there were two of them! More to mingle with ... !!! Yet they were instrumental in molding me into the Unbelievable I am today ... all because of their overpowering devious natures.

In those heady days of youth, you have the tendency sometimes to make grave mistakes, poor decisions, unwise turns in life's forks in the road. And I almost went down a path leading straight into Klumpmasterflash Batongaville.

Want all the sordid details? Tune in tomorrow. It turns out there are a few confidential files regarding The Twins which need to be declassified properly prior to being revealed here ...