Ladies and Gentlemen:
We interrupt the regularly scheduled wrap up of this week's signature Unbelievanars™ and their many considerations to announce the following:
Glaringly, it has come to our attention our esteemed colleague - Jeff Hickmott, partner in crime fighting, whipped potato master, uber stylish gent and all around swell egg - went a bit off the deep end with Wednesday's posting, having offered some rather salacious and questionable material for Unbelievanar™ consideration. So salacious, in fact, we were rather embarrassed and disturbed by some of that material.
We want to take this opportunity to apologize for any harm said material may have caused, be it visual, auditory or mental. And particularly so from the viewing of the "Auntie Angel" piece with her ... *uh-hem* ... "instructional" citrus tutorial. (The audio portion of the video alone was enough to send some folks running. All of us here at the Unbelieva-Base will undoubtedly wake up in cold night sweats with memories of those sounds rattling around inside our heads.)
Come next week, we should have things back to their proper order ... which could be anything as you well know.
Thank you for your time and consideration.
P.S.
As of last evening, "Stabbing Meat For Fun And Profit" with Vincent
Price has been taken off the table, so to speak. The main draw - Mr.
Price himself - is not available as it turns out ... as he's been dead for the last 20+ years.
Instead, we'll be evaluating something a little less "stabbity" - the twinkle-toe stylings of the amazing Mr. Fred Emney and his lost ragtime artistry ...
Unbelievinars™ are sure popular with everyone! We got so dogged by demands for more and more of them, on such a variety of topics, that we put out a call for more and more guest speakers at our Unbelievamininars™, and got sent a bunch of emails, photos, letters, and videos from people who are eager to share their collective wisdom and talents with a waiting world.
Like Unbelievinar™ graduate Frank Ferrone, who is keen to demonstrate the correct etiquette for hosting a BBQ and fondue party.
"Dear Unbelievables, please consider my one-day intensive course on how to be stone cold munchin' at a high class luncheon and still impress the ladies! Yours, Frank."
The Hotpants Syndicate, with their 'Hotpants 101' Fashion Show and try-before-you-buy...
Louisa Malteser, with "98 Ways With Pasta"...
Denise and Teresa Malteser (and pals), with "Make That 99 Ways"
The Bikini Twins, with "Hot Dogs Are Life, Hot Dogs Are Love"...
La Familia Malteser, with "Spaghetti Weirdness 2.0"...
And Vincent Price, with "Stabbing Meat For Fun And Profit"...
All of those are currently under consideration from the boys and myself. So look out for further notifications of these and other classes popping up in a neighbourhood near you in the not too distant future.
Footnote: We sometimes get sent videos for classes that sound interesting but turn out to be very strange indeed. We got sent this one by a lady calling herself 'Auntie Angel' and claiming to be some sort of 'sexpert'. Well, naturally, we were interested, but when we saw the video below, we were stunned and then horrified. The video purports to be some kind of tutorial about orally pleasuring a man with the use of a grapefruit. We were still interested if a little perplexed, so we manfully pressed on, until the lady whipped out a (ahem) rubber man-part and simulated fellatio on said item. That part was visually fine, but apparently she had just dropped a live squid into a garbage disposal unit right at the same moment. At least, that's what it sounded like...
Oh, and before I show you this, I should add...NSFW!!!
The 2:45 mark is where it gets weird.
One thing is for sure. 'Auntie Angel' will most definitely NOT be teaching any Unbelievamininars™ any time soon.
