These dudes are bad. Bad clothes. Bad hair. Bad attitudes.
From the secret files of The Kitsch Bitsch ... we present ... The Unbelievables!
Showing posts with label POTUS. Show all posts
Showing posts with label POTUS. Show all posts
Wednesday, August 12, 2015
The "Likely" Candidates
The most likely suspects were Helena Handbasket and Polly Gripp.
(Back in the day, I ... *ahem* ... "knew" them rather well. And trust me: They're two characters you do NOT want to get mixed up with for multiple reasons, your sanity being one of those reasons.)
But likely as the two were - logical considerations both - the facts we uncovered led to a much more heinous group of infiltrators.
Cads. Snake oil salesmen. Louts with ill intention. Scoundrels of such devious mind they were confident they could plot arrangements through secretive lackeys who would (supposedly) leave no paper trail as to who the real brains were in the operation.
Fortunately, The Unbelievables are far smarter than your average miscreant wishing to capitalize on our good names and our even better methodologies.
After sifting through many of the obvious appellants (and hearing, once again, Clark's delusions of grandeur concerning Marianne, the Girl-In-A-Box for the umpteenth time and how he could have been really good for her and turned her from a life of crime) the logical conclusion came to us while we were taking a break watching television last week.
The answer was right there on the screen, these guys:
Yep, you got it. A goodly chunk of the current Republican candidates vying for POTUS.
Damn! What a devious lot! Utilizing a strong feminine figure like The Black Cat to falsely empower other women - brilliant! Especially when everyone and his brother knows full well Republicans despise women and womens' rights! What tricksters! And hiding in plain sight and on a public forum! How cunning!
But ... was it one of them? All of them? Just a select few? None of the candidates were ever enrolled in any of The Unbelievables' Unbelieva-Fu® seminars; we would have recognized them at the drop of a smile. They had to have infiltrated our ranks using a foil. How did they do it?
We may have caught them red-handed but, as politicians, they were collectively able to talk their way their way out of any blame. (It's what politicians do, first and foremost.) Still, there were questions to be answered.
Clark provides the conclusion to the tale Friday ...
Wednesday, May 6, 2015
What's More Important Than The POTUS Gone Missing?
Far be it that we Unbelievables shirk our responsibilities.
We're known for our resoluteness, our uncompromising courageousness in the face of danger, being mavens of fashion and our gracious attitude toward the ladies. (Hello, Ladies!)
But I digress. Regarding this "Obamagone" business (and Jeff hit the nail on the head with his final declaration in Monday's post:
"More on this story as it develops."
Well guess what? Nothing has developed.
Not a single thing. There are no further developments. Nil. Nada. Zippo. Zilch.
As far as we know The President is still jib-jabbin' around with the likes of David Letterman as he was Monday evening. Here, see for yourself:
It's not like he's Vladimir Putin disappearing for a month (or more) at a time, completely out of the public eye. And you must be aware President Obama is surrounded by secret service 24/7. It's a little difficult to fall off the face of the earth for any length of time without them knowing.
So ... when something comes up? You'll be the first to know. We're on it. We're privy to the 911 on the POTUS.
Besides, there are more important things than The President gone missing. (And let me clarify one last time: We highly doubt he's truly missing.)
What's more important you ask? How about this past Monday, Star Wars Day? (Hokay ... maybe not.) Well ... what about yesterday, Cinco de Mayo? (Uhmmm ... no.)
You're right. Neither of those is really important. But you know what is important? I'll tell you what's important folks:
Today is May 6th! Monica Lewis' birthday ... !!!
What's more important than that ... ??!?
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