Whoomp! There it is!
Yes ... The Unbelievables can carve another notch in their bedpost (metaphorically speaking) when it comes to cases closed.
And this win really needs to go to Jeff and his brilliant shout out of our allies Dynamo, Paul McKenna and Derren Brown.
Sometimes, it's just a matter of letting the bad guys know who they're going up against that sends them running.
In Professor Rob Ott's case, maybe it was the video of Dynamo traipsing across the Thames which got to him ... perhaps it was the shame he might have felt at indirectly being called "fat" by McKenna ... or maybe it was simply Brown's steely stare (with eyes shooting lasers) that elicited icy fear within him.
No matter the reason, a non-descript white envelope marked "The Unbelievables - Please Read" was left at our headquarters yesterday from Ott that relinquished any and all world domination tendencies he might have been seeking. The key words he used that widened our eyes upon reading the note? Shockingly, they were "I'm sorry."
You see ... villains never say "I'm sorry." Never ever. They could give a rat's ass if you know they're sorry or otherwise. They'd just as soon cackle evilly to your face than apologize. As a matter of fact, we haven't seen anything quite like this before in our crime fighting-history.
While were happy Ott has backed off his dastardly doings, we clearly are able to read between the lines. Ott's apology is simply a way for him to recede into the shadows and regroup to figure out how to combat what he cannot possibly overcome in the end: The Unbelievables' hefty arsenal of ammunition.
So ... with a simple "Case: Closed" we tuck this file into our cabinet, confident in the knowledge it isn't everyday we need to put on our best duds and enact mayhem upon creeps, quashing their public-threatening, selfish ways.
America? You're welcome.
P.S. Jodie Foster? We've seen to it she's getting the care she needs after her little Golden Globe tirade, induced by Ott's machinations. Rumor has it she's back on track and considering a couple high-profile scripts for her reintroduction back into the Hollywood fold. (Thankfully, the words "electric" and "boogaloo" are NOT in the titles of said scripts.
P.P.S. For shits and giggles, we decided to send a thank you to Ott in response to his considerate note ... and we included a copy of the Dynamo issue of Beano because we know this would strike an icy spike of fear in him. (When it comes to super villains, it's not enough to stick it to them - you've got to add a little twist for emphasis ...)
Yes indeed, something is definitely not right in Tinseltown. Clark has already let you all know about the re-emergence of Rob Ott (who now prefers to be known as Professor Rob Ott) and his cohort Holly Graham, whose alias, it can now be revealed, is that of one Anna McTronic, an ex-star pupil of Ott.
When Clark says it seems that Ott and McTronic have kidnapped all of Hollywood he has hit the nail on the head. Almost. It seems that some glitterati have escaped their snares, and have actually been savvy enough to come to us, the Unbelievables, for assistance. A couple of them are on the horn to us right now, as I write this, spilling everything they know about these special-effects fiends - locations, methods, how they avoided capture, the lot.
What is their purpose? Who knows. But I betcha dollars to donuts it's got something to do with the age-old 'taking over the world' thing. I know Professor Rob Ott has sworn vengeance on Disney, but using all of Hollywood? If you only wanted to bring down Disney you wouldn't have to go to such great lengths. Nope, I'm pretty convinced that once Hollywood fell under the spell of Ott and McTronic they would be brainwashed. Brainwashed into doing and saying things they wouldn't normally do in order to influence the younger generation, who in turn will become an unstoppable army, marching on Washington, kicking out all the politicos (actually, we can kinda get behind that one), launching missiles willy-nilly and bringing about the Rob Ott Apocalypse. Now that we gotta stop.
But how are they brainwashing the stars? How is it that giants, legends even, such as Jack Nicholson, Clint Eastwood and Keanu Reeves are finding themselves under the Rob Ott influence? Simple.
They have working for them the following people: Kreskin, Uri Geller, David Blaine, David Copperfield, Banachek and Max Maven (the man with the best goatee ever, I mean you gotta see this thing!)
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With these six hypnotists at his disposal he has made short work of the entire Hollywood community. But have no fear folks. We Unbelievables are equally well-prepared to un-hypnotise the stars, for we have three, count'em, three big guns in our arsenal (aside from all the big guns in our arsenal, if you know what I mean - but that's a story for another time) - Derren Brown, Paul McKenna and Dynamo!
Dynamo, as you may be aware, is not only capable of performing illusions that make you go "What the...?" on a daily basis (such as walking across the Thames),
but has also been the subject of a comic strip himself, making him practically a superhero in my book.
Paul McKenna is able to convince people to be better than they already are by the use of auto suggestion and neurolinguistics, and his books are runaway bestsellers.
And Derren Brown is able to control people's minds, pure and simple.
So with these guys on our side, we should have this whole thing wrapped up by next week. Right guys?
