Haiku Guerilla Party

 

Haiku. That sedentary form of poetic expression that blankets the writer and reader with a sense of calm. 

Traditionally, its modus operendi is its "cutting" or juxtapositioning of two ideas signaling a moment of separation.

Seriously: Who's got time for that? 

Jeff and Clark have their preferences, I have mine. I mix haiku up with my own Unbelievable brand of "calm" when I explore the form. Ain't no one gonna tell me differently.



Hey! You! You, Haiku!
Do you do the haiku, too?
It's your nature to ...

Ne'er-do-wells hate us.

The public adores us. But ...

We're just well-dressed gents.

Well ... Hello, Ladies!
It so happens I'm walkin'
In your direction. 

Jeff whips his taters,
Clark gets off vrooming his 'Vette,
I rock pantslessness.

I don't always do

The Haiku. But when I do ...

I do it for you.

Nature? Animals?
Earthly calm and composure?
Sleep-inducing 'ku.

You can't always get

What you want. But if you try?

You get what you need.

The calm after rain.
The cleanliness of nature.
Volleyball sans pants!

We, the crimefighters,

We, The Unbelievables,

We're here. You're welcome.

Getting our acts together

This is not a great time to be a citizen of the world, is it? It seems like everywhere you look, something terrible is going on. That is an overwhelming prospect and even the greatest crime-fighting organization on the planet (us) can't solve all the problems at once. As a wise man once queried, "How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time." Of course, a better question might be, "Why in the world would you want to eat an elephant?" but that's beside the point. Which is, in order to keep things in perspective, as we do from time to time, we are employing Asian relaxation techniques. Specifically, we are once again practicing the art of Haiku.

The bottom 2/3 of a very good haiku

Participating in this exercise will (hopefully) allow us to find a sense of inner peace and balance necessary to go about our duties on a global scale (if this doesn't work, maybe we'll try meditation). Here goes nothing...

Oh, Henri Petit

I kick you through a window

Foul smoking infant

There are three of us

You outnumber us by ten

Yet, we still kick ass

Combing my chest hair

Relaxing out by the pool

Oh! Hello ladies!

Sleek, red, sexy, hot

I know you love it, but keep

Your hands off my car

I'm starting to feel better already! Let's see what the guys have to offer later this week!

Unbelieva-Yule-Ku

Blessed Christmas time!

The Yule! The spirit! Warmth's glow!

Camaraderie!

A joyous season 

Which seemingly melts stern hearts

With simple greetings ...

Generous offers,

Genuine invitation

Make pause possible.

Why? How is this so?

There's never time enough ... but ...

Christmas avails us.

We stop, consider,

And, in reflection, we know

Christmas' aura, cheer.

So we greet and call

And plan reunion and mirth

And thus feed Yule's call.

To all we offer,

We Unbelievables three:

Good tidings, Ladies!

Holiday Haiku

One thing that is not widely known about the Unbelievables is that we are skilled poets. Yes, 'tis true. It all started when we were learning martial arts and developing our own style - Unbelieva-Fu - and practising our own meditation techniques - Unbelieva-Zen. We became quite proficient in haiku and after a time we developed our own form of the art (we are very fond of taking things and developing our own version of it, aren't we?). We called our version of haiku Unbelieva-ku, and instead of the traditional 5-7-5 format (five syllables in the first line, seven syllables in the second line and five in the third), ours consists of seven stanzas of 5-7-5 haikus. Here is one I wrote earlier.

the unbelievables

michael jeff and clark
they have solved some major crimes
unbelievables

got to the bottom
of the muffin man's mischief
turns out he's half-baked

the shenanigans
of little debbie and co.
they got it sorted

sam snow, beyonce
henri petit, dumb baby
klumpmasterflash twins

all of the above
and so many other fools
they brought them to book

holiday season
seems incomplete without them
raise a glass or two

unbelievables
ever vigilant, watching
evil for to quash.

you're welcome.