Showing posts with label twerking. Show all posts
Showing posts with label twerking. Show all posts

Friday, October 4, 2013

Twerking: Hardly The New Dance Craze

I don't know what all the hoopla is about.

"Michaeling" has been going on for years. A lot longer than you can imagine. Decades in fact. There's even concrete proof of such ...

Old wood prints show proof of what I speak ...


Undated wood stamp: Some of the first evidence of "Michaeling".
As you can see, the event used to be a very formal affair ...

And let's get something straight: "Michaeling" is not some sort of fad-like "conga-wannabee." As a matter of fact my version of a "conga line" is a bit different from everyone else's. Don't get the two confused ...



"Michaeling" has even made the grade in popular culture as shown below in an episode of Futurama ...



Even everyone's favorite icon Barbie and Company have gotten in on the fun ...


Even the disabled can get into "Michaeling"

And you can best believe the ladies dig it, too.


Well ... Hello, Ladies ... !!!
(Black out bar "imposed because you never know if there are young readers out there.
Unclothed dolls are one thing, live ladies something all together different.)

"Twerking" ... ??? Nah. It ain't got nuthin' on "Clarking" ... or "Jeffing" ... or "Michaeling" even.

But don't worry. Things like "twerking" have the tendency to work themselves through the system and then get lost in the shuffle. Before you know it, you won't even remember what all the ruckus was about. 

("Mylie who?" you'll soon wonder ...)

Wednesday, October 2, 2013

All Twerk And No Play

First, let's get this little nugget out of the way. Here is visual proof of why "Clarking" died out.



Um, yeah.

"Jeffing", that bizarre bug-spotting-then-stomping dance, became "The Roach", as danced by Tracy Turnblad aka Ricki Lake in the original Hairspray, and performed here in an awkward clip from American Bandstand by The Spats...






And then there's Michaeling, which is a bizarro pants-pulling conga line, and not, as Google would have you believe, being a mega fan of Michael Jackson (who he?).

As to twerking, all we can say is... this is one dance we'd like to see relegated to the wicker waste basket of history ASAP. It seems like it's basically a lap dance where no sitting is involved, and no lap either. Sticking your tush up and wiggling it a la Pepe le Pew does not make you Fred Astaire no matter how shiny your shoes and other accessories are, sorry.

So, we're working on it, and at the same time I believe we should try to resurrect a few dances from yesteryear that may have been overlooked. Jeffing and Michaeling sound fun, but Clarking is inadvisable unless you're a yoga instructor with the telephone number of a good osteopath. Or you could try this...

Al Coholic and his backing dancers, The Inebriate Women get loose.