Of course there's no such thing as an "Unbelievables Starter Kit", but if there was...

A starter kit?
To become an Unbelievable?
Ha.
Ha ha ha ha ha.
HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!
BWA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!

What a gradually ascending 'Ha-ha-ha'-inducing concept. To believe there could ever exist such a thing as an "Unbelievables Starter Kit" is to believe it's possible to just start being Unbelievable. In other words, such a thing could never, ever exist in any form whatsoever.

But if it could exist, it would probably have the following items AT LEAST.

A VOLLEYBALL

Michael enjoys competing in a number of "clothing discouraged optional" sports leagues, but his first love and primary pursuit is the sport of volleyball. WHAT DOES THAT HAVE TO DO WITH BECOMING A CRIMEFIGHTER? Well, you learn agility, teamwork, and in the leagues Michael plays in, protecting one's dangly bits from speeding projectiles.

WHIPPED POTATOES

There are few things Jeff loves more than good whipped potatoes. What qualifies as good whipped potatoes? Basically, any potatoes prepared and served in a whipped fashion would qualify. WHAT DOES THAT HAVE TO DO WITH BECOMING A CRIMEFIGHTER? An appreciation of good cuisine is essential. Say you're attending a formal, catered affair where your nemesis is trying to woo vital military secrets from a baroness. There's no better way to draw the attention of everyone in the room than bypassing the flaming shrimp appetizers everyone else is enjoying and ordering, "Potatoes. Whipped, not baked." Jeff has done this more than once and it never fails to jar his adversary's confidence.

A CAR 

Specifically, this car, the Unbelievabamobile. With this girl. WHAT DOES THAT HAVE TO DO WITH BECOMING A CRIMEFIGHTER? Seriously? If you have to ask that question, there's honestly no point in you pursuing this line of work.

That's just three elements that would have to be included in any kind of "Unbelievables Starter Kit" and I have no idea how you would even package them together. 

You Can't Put On A Cravat And Instantly Become A Crime Fighter, You Know ...

Dear Unbelievables:

My son's birthday is coming up next month and I thought it would be neat to pick up The Unbelievables' Starter Kit that's been rumored to its debut shortly.

That's not just a rumor ... is it? Send me the information pronto! I want you to take my money!

Thanks! Randolph

Dear Randolph:

I don't know who started that rumor. Clark and Jeff don't know either.

But I wouldn't put it past one (or several) of our arch enemies promoting such a falsehood to fund their arsenals and ideas in any attempt to orchestrate the downfall of The Unbelievables.

You have to understand it's an expensive effort to try and come up with ways for our foes to push our demise. It takes big bucks, we're sure, to work out any ill machinations they might wish against us. To wit, they'll do almost anything to bring in cash to fund their evil, twisted ideas, including putting propaganda out falsely advertising John Q. Public can become an Unbelievable.

Bottom line: There's no such thing.

Unbelievability isn't just for anyone walking down the street. It takes training, perseverance, dedication, a quick wit, a hefty wardrobe and more.

Yes, there are a few token honorary figures who can add "Unbelievable" to their business cards but they're few and far between. (Elvis, Steve McQueen are a couple heady examples.)

The Unbelievables are not about "taking your money." Sorry. 

Even if there was an Unbelievable Starter Kit, it wouldn't be for kids. That would be dangerous and irresponsible.

We hear those XBox things are pretty happening, if you want a suggestion.

Sincerely, The Unbelievables