The "Plan"

For whatever reason, I was uncharacteristically cranky about the entire affair with "Hairy" McLairy and The Bewiskered Gentlefellows.

And I was in no mood to deal with them ... beside the fact we hadn't really had any run in with them to that point.

Bonehead, preener, questionable harmonies ... 

"Look," I reasoned when we caught wind of all the hullabaloo surrounding The Gentlefellows "we don't have much of a leg to stand on with these guys. We can't very well haul them in for displaying their facially manicured selves in public. And their folical felonies don't amount to much of anything other than bad fashion sense. Plus the fact there's a contingent of people out there who are fans of all that mustachioed hoo-ha - nothing we can do about that. Putting the word out about grandiose mustache-ism isn't a crime last time I checked the books. Their "message" such that it is? We don't even know what it's all about. It certainly hasn't led to anything illegal to this point. I mean ... I guess we could round them up and harass them for poor barbershop quartetting but rememeber there's a faction of folks out there who dig that stuff. Who are we to quash their entertainment ... sad and sorry as it may be? And, for what it's worth, you well know I can't stand kissing girls with facial hair; best to simply avoid them all together. So what's left that we can effectively do about them?"

The guys saw my reasoning, looked at the floor, mumbled and shrugged their shoulders. They knew I was right ...

Suddenly, an idea popped into my head that made me really happy.

That's me on the right ... really happy with my idea.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~
We're putting the word out to the good folks of Florida, currently in the midst of dealing with hurricane Hermine: If you see a group of guys dressed in barbershop duds with facial features verging on the drowned rat side of the coin (or, for that matter, a bad case of the frizzies) it's just The Bewhiskered Gentlefellows recovering from the effects of severe weather on their hairs. The Unbelievables invited them down to your great state for an outdoor weekend walking tour to showcase their musical "talents."

If you see something like this wandering the water-ravaged streets of Florida, don't worry:
It's just one of The Gentelfellows suffering the frizzies.

*snicker*

Beware the Bewhiskered

This guy...

is known as Reg "Hairy" McLairy or The Tashmeister. He is seriously into his moustache. He preens and primps it three hours a day. He's a little odd. He's responsible for the spread of moustachism worldwide, which led to the fad that became a thing of women wearing fake 'staches.

As you can probably tell from the pic, he's also into barbershop quartet singing. Those close-harmony renditions of old crap songs like "Sweet Adeline" or "Goodnight Sweetheart" that are only tolerated because they are technically skilful despite being not at all entertaining. Wearing a striped blazer, silly hat and white pants a la Dick Van Dyke during the penguin sequence in Mary Poppins with a bunch of other similarly attired men and boring people to tears with songs like "Coney Island Washboard" or "Nobody Knows What A Redheaded Mama Can Do" McLairy and his fellow criminals, The Bewhiskered Gentlefellows, travel the length and breadth of the country, showing off their facial hair felonies and spreading their message. Not quite sure what the message actually is, but we'll get to that later.

The other three members of The Bewhiskered Gentlefellows are pictured below.

Terrance McTavish, baritone and cravat.

Paddy O'Dawes, tenor and bowtie.

Snoots McGee-Cheeseworth, alto and stetson. 

If you see these guys and survive, please let us know. We need to put a stop to their nefarious noodlings and ne'er-do-well deeds. Rest assured we'll give your call top priority.

More info on Friday!