Automatic Rejects

Jeff is right. The wannabee crimefighters come out of the woodwork.

And sometimes? You don't even have to read their letters. All you need do is take a quick gander at their provided photos which seem to always accompany the pleas for inclusion to The Unbelievables.

Here, see what I mean* ...

The Human Lobster Rage Fist ...

Stealth Girl ...

Buchart Butthead ...

Inventin' Jim ...

Grandpa Scowl ...

Jim "Stretchy" Pullapart ...

Drop Kick Gal ...

  "Lips" McGinty ...

The Manimal ...

NSFW Sock Monkey Girl ...

Al, Man Of A Thousand Disguises ...

This guy called himself "The Contortionist" ...

You just gotta wonder, right?  Being an Unbelievable is tough work ... especially when you have to slog through the mailbag.

Me? I'm exhausted. I'm taking a break. I have a "date" (*uh-hem*) with Laura Biding-Citizen ...

* All "names" accompanying the above photos are the actual signed signatures of the submitters. No foolin' ...

We Get (Hopeful) Letters...

Every day we get letters literally pouring through our mail chute from wannabe crimefighters wishing to join our elite band of do-gooders, despite the fact that we've never put out an A.P.B. for assistance or ever looked like we were in sufficient trouble to warrant needing a helping hand. But still they come. Here's one from today's postbag...

"Dear Unbelievables, 

I'm a girl who's super fit and strong and wants to fight crime. Can I join you? 

Love, 

Laura Biding-Citizen, Bivalve, MD

P. S. Have enclosed some pix to prove I'm not joking."

Here are the pictures...

There's certainly no doubt that you're strong, Laura. But do we need anyone else on the team? Not at the moment, sorry.

Here's another one.

"Hey fellas, 

I'm a pretty tough guy and I thought maybe you could use a little help. Enclosed is a picture of my feat of strength.

Cheers, Jim Bunny, Piperton, TN

P.S. Group hug!! High five! Etc."

Well, that's a little weird, Jim. Nice pic, though. We'll get back to you. Or not.

Here's more...

"Dear Unbelievables we are inventing new super transport special for to helping with the chasing of the naughty bad persons on the road chasing. Extra room for more than three, super speedy, you buy? Plus, extra because we like to be Unbelievings too, thank you exceeding, much thank.

Sinceres, P.Quliar. 

P.S. What P.S. is meaning to say is we like you Unbelivable. Go team! Here picture."

Ah, er.... no. And no. I think.

And lastly...

"Guys, it's me, Arnold. I have an invention that will blow your minds, it's so fantastic. An invisible bike! Can you believe how fantastic this fantastic bike is? And look how fantastic I look riding it. It's fantastic. Interested? Call me.

Regards, A.S.

P.S. Pleeeease let me join! It'd be fantastic!"

Obviously Photoshopped. Desperate is NOT pretty, Arn. No thank you very much.


Michael and Clark will have another sift through the mailbag later in the week to see what other wackos people write to us. Later, y'all!