All-Star Secrets Continued: Yum Yum

"One of the great side benefits of knowing so many of the world's best and brightest (be they entertainers, educators, politicians, economists, astrophysicists ...)"

Yes, learning the quirks of some of these incredible people is pretty fascinating. I, for one, never knew that not only is Barack Obama an "Arrested Development" fan, but that he's very proud of his Lucille Bluth impression...

Not bad, sir.

 But when it comes to the pursuit of epicurean delights, well, that's when you can really pick up on some valuable insights...

Ben Affleck, the actor currently wearing The Dark Guy's cape and cowl, can actually unhinge his jaw in order to wolf down an entire MacWhopper in one bite. Hey, being the vigilante guardian of Gollum City doesn't allow for the luxury of nibbling.

Katie Price, star of being attractive, suffers from a rare condition known as "Narcoleatsy". Food makes her sleepy. She has been known to pitch forward and face-plant into her plate during meals. She once almost drowned in a platter of BBQ Pork Nachos.

"Go ahead, make some more!"

Clint Eastwood, known for his iconic roles as "Dirty Henry" and "Hugh Plains, Drifter" and "Talks To Chairs", does not like being informed that all the jelly donuts are sold out.

"Hey Cameron Craig! Craig! Yeah, you! You suck!"

Oprah Winfrey, who shot to multi-media super-stardom as the star of "The Sally Jessy Raphael Show", is known for eating healthy. Except for once a year when she attends the Gem State Classic Pro Rodeo in Blackfoot, Idaho, that is. Every year, she spends that week binging on corn dogs and heckling cowboys.

Pop diva Britney Spears ("One More Time, Baby" and "Oops, What Did I Do This Time") also has a food-induced sleep disorder. She suffers from SomNomNombulism, otherwise known as sleep-eating. Her tour rider stipulates that she can't stay in any hotels whose pillows resemble cupcakes.

It turns out that Justin Bieber, professional Canadian irritant, is an uncultured savage and a moron. I think that one was self-evident. though.

Obamaback! (But it's not all good news)

Well, Michael wasn't much help, was he?
Tsk.
Oh well. That kind of thing happens from time to time and we move forward.

First of all, good news; the President has been found! It turns out he had retired to a lavatory and was seen carrying a copy of this particular magazine:

We think the messenger who sent us the email got confused:

No biggie. The President is back and he's fine.

Now the bad news; it would appear that we have some new rogues to add to our gallery. A group of ne'er do wells who call themselves The Stews are out to cause mayhem. The young lady featured in Jeff's entry on Monday is a member, as are the ladies (if you want to call them that) shown above. Their M.O. (that's Latin for "how crooks work") is to use their feminine wiles to lure otherwise responsible air travelers into following them aboard planes and then making them misbehave (smoke, drink to excess, use objectionable language, etc.). Were they involved in this particular case? Probably. We're not entirely sure.
What we do know is that what starts out like this on the runway A in Pittsburgh...

Turns into this in the air over Omaha...

The next thing you know, innocent rock stars are being led astray...

"They seemed like such nice girls"

To what end? I don't think The Stews have even figured that out for themselves. Just for kicks, maybe. At any rate, I'm sure we'll cross paths with them again in the future.

Obamagone

Sooo... I don't wish to alarm anyone, but we have a little problem. 

As you may or may not be aware, politicians in the USA are currently deeply mired in campaigning for the Presidential Election, despite the fact that it's 553 days away. And you may also be aware that this man

Barack Obama, leader of the free world, (well, not really, just President of the United States), has gone missing.

And we just received this cryptic message in the form of an email attachment.

There was no signature, just another picture - this one.

What does it all mean? And where is our man Barack? More on this story as it develops.