Factual Errors

So.

I have a few questions for Clark about his entry for Wednesday. I assume you read the whole shoddy report and you know what I'm talking about.

Firstly of all - I know you're a ladies' man, Clark, as are we all (hello, ladies!!!), but I know darn well that the Stiletto Flats jail is NOT, repeat NOT co-ed. Therefore I have serious doubts about the veracity of this picture.

Seriously? We're meant to buy this?!

Secondly, and this is the main point, I am heck-fire sure that Clark's tale of prison potatoes being better than mine is a giant fib, designed for some reason to wind me up. Why Clarkito should see fit to make a joke about the quality of my whipped potatoes is beyond reason - I mean, I use fresh ingredients - potatoes, butter, salt, pepper, etc.(don't want to reveal all the ingredients - it's a secret recipe, for flip's sake), and everyone knows fresh ingredients beat reconstituted pap any day of the week. But just to make sure, I took it upon myself to go visit this guy Lucky at the jail and see for myself. First thing I saw was row upon row of these -- 

which explained everything. For it is a well-known fact that Clark has a weird fetish about artificial chicken flavour anything. I mean anything. And not just chicken, either. Take a look at some of these things that I have personally seen Clark consuming:

Clark, your taste buds must be shot!!


P.S. I met this guy Lucky - wooden leg, missing ear, almost blind, hearing aid, mostly missing dentures, missing digits, several large warts, hunched back and a speech impediment - and asked to sample the potatoes. He agreed and handed me a bowl full of runny gunk. Quite simply, they were MESSAGE REDACTED FOR SECURITY PURPOSES MESSAGE REDACTED FOR SECURITY PURPOSES  in my life. So there you have it. In your face,Clark!