Ulf joins the team

Ulf's ability to disguise himself like some kind of chameleon who is also a dog was something that impressed us immediately.

Sometimes, like us, Ulf is black. Don't let it throw you.

But you can never be too cautious when bringing in a potential new team member, be they human, canine or other, so we subjected him to some thorough tests in the lab that yielded some very surprising results. Turns out, there is actually a good reason for Ulf's ability to change his appearance; he's a mathematically impossible combination of a variety of dog breeds:

50% Collie
50% Setter (Irish)
50% Boxer
50% Doberman Pinscher
50% Pointer
99.7% Labrador Retriever

We tasked Kip the Mail Boy with challenging these results in a field study with Ulf, the conclusion of which we caught on video:


Ha ha ha!
Kip is so stupid.

As far as I was concerned, at that exact moment, Ulf was one of us. Jeff needed just a little more convincing, however...

Origin Stories: Ulf The Unbelievadog

Ulf The Unbelievadog

Early on in The Unbelievables career - shortly after the world was made aware of our daring adventures, benefits to the international community at and obvious do-goodery - we discovered a small glitch with our popularity ...

"Damn," Clark huffed one afternoon. "I'm exhausted."

"Me, too," Jeff agreed. "We need to do something to take some of the load off our shoulders."

I chimed in. "Agreed. Shuttling here and there and everywhere to help out with stuff while vanquishing ne'er-do-wells is taking its toll. Let's put our heads together and come up with something."

"Hmmmmmmmmmmmm" Clark thought out loud. "How about some outside help? You know ... lackeys or sidekicks or something to ease the burden?"

"That would take lots of time and training. And we're spread thin as it is," I countered.

Jeff jumped up out of his seat. "I've got it! An animal compatriot! Sure, there's training involved but there wouldn't be any back talk! An animal sidekick would work on the cheap with little drama or need for vacations and stuff like that!"

"Brilliant!" Clark agreed. 

"Like what?" I asked.

"A squirrel!" Jeff exclaimed.

"No." I said.

"How about a cat?" Clark suggested.

"Cats are worthless, interested in only themselves. And they don't listen. Plus they don't give a rat's ass about anything but ... well, rats. And mice."

"A dolphin!" Jeff offered.

I gave him a look. "Good only for sea-faring stuff."

"A fox?" Clark asked.

"I don't think so ..."

Jeff pointed a finger in the air: "Hello! Cockroach!"

Both Clark and I looked at him with frowns.

"Bunny rabbit?" Jeff asked sheepishly.*

"I got it. A dog," I concluded. "Trainable, loyal, adaptable, always willing to perform. A dog would be perfect!"

Clark and Jeff agreed.

So it was off to the local shelter to see what there was to see.

There were gads of dogs and cats up for adoption. All three of us went in different directions on the hunt. It was Jeff who found what we were looking for, however.

"He's perfect. An Irish Wolfhound!" But that's not what I saw. I saw a German Shepherd. Clark? Saw a Boxer. We were confused. We called over a shelter attendant to tell us about the dog we found. 

"Oh ... that's an Alaskan Malamute," the helpful employee told us. All three of us looked at each other confused.

Jeff pulled us in close. "You know what? This dog is perfect for us. We're masters of disguise and, obviously, so is this dog. Imagine the confusion on our enemies' faces when they think one kind of dog is coming for them when it will be something entirely different! It's as if this pooch was made just for The Unbelievables!"

There was no denying it. We filled out the paperwork the shelter foisted on us and got all the particulars on him. Healthy, all his shots, likable and easily trainable. And he wasn't even a year old yet. Perfect age.

When we got him home (after a run to a pet store to lavish our new friend with bedding, treats, toys and more) we got down to business.

"What should we call him?" Clark asked. 

"Scruffy!" Jeff blurted.

"Jasper!" Clark countered.

"Caper!" I suggested.

Our new dog just looked at us. "Ulf" he barked.

Clark stated the obvious: "This is going to be tough ..."

"Rulf" the dog replied. 

"How are we going to come up with anything any of us are going to agree with?"

"Schlulf" the dog gruffed.

"I know: Each one of us gets a say in some aspect of his name ... within reason, of course. Maybe that will narrow it down for us. Me? His name has to be monosyllabic. Easier to call that way."

"Ulf!" the dog shot out.

"Okay ... my stipulation is it has to be simple to spell," Jeff told us.

"Wulf!" our furry newcomer barked.

"It's got to sound German," Clark mandated.

"....rrrrrrUlf ... !!!" the canine called.

We looked at each other enlightened. You could practically see the light bulbs glowing over our heads: "ULF!" we exclaimed in unison.

From that day forward there wasn't any question. It was Ulf The Unbelievadog, without a doubt.

From the Unbelieva-Files: Ulf The Unbelievadog

leading unwitting international fashion criminal Mac Ramey

to the hoosegow.

Clark and Jeff will clue you in to more of Ulf's origin story later in the week.

*Coincidentally, each and every one of these animals eventually became a valued agent in The Unbelievables' extensive network.

Origins

So ... how did we, The Unbelievables, get our unique name anyway?

There were tons of "starter" suggestions that never made the grade. Ideas ... silly throw-aways... things we stumbled upon. For example: 

The Unmentionables (While we're not ladies' undergarments, this suggestion did initiate our trademark "Hello, Ladies!")
The Incalculables (There are three of us: Clark, Jeff and myself. Not so incalculable if you ask me ...)
The Undudes (Well ... we are dudes but there's nothing "un" about us ... except for the occasional "undressed" states we find ourselves in.)
The Invincibles (Already taken. And besides ... we're not invincible ...)
The Unchooseables (We're extremely chooseable! The ladies choose us all the time!)
The Uncolas (While we embrace the 70s just like everybody else ... no.)
The Unsortables (To be honest there are groups of folks out there who can't differentiate between us ... but ... no ...)
The Unstoppables (No one is unstoppable. We quashed this immediately.)
The Unsoupables (All of us like soup, but this didn't compute.)
The Ungroupables (What?)
The Undesireables (Really? Duh!)
The Inconsequentials (What ... ?!??)
The Unseeables (If you're blind or looking the other way, maybe ... but no ...)
The Unrelenters (We're not that obtrusive ..)
The Underwears (We seriously considered this. You've seen our portfolio ... haven't you? "The Underwears" was at least more masculine sounding and to the point than the previously seen "The Unmentionables")
The Uncannys (Close ... but no cigar.)
The Unregisterables (Again ... no ...)
The Unenviables (Uhm ... no ...)
The Enviables (Another consideration that didn't quite make it.)
The Intolerables (We're not little bratty kids.)
The Bobs (We're not "Bobs" either. Never have been. None of us are named "Bob" nor do any of us go by "Bob" as a nickname. I have no earthly idea how this one came up as a consideration.)
The Unscrewables (I think this was originally Jeff's suggestion. Once Clark and I, simultaneously, informed him our foes would use this against us - "Hey, you guys! You're screwed!" - we nipped it in the bud ...)
The Indentureds (What the ... ??!?)
The Uninsurables (At this point, things just got ridiculous.)
The Unbitten (Nah ... we get bitten all the time ... Hello, Ladies!)
The Unequals (Really: Is there anyone equal to us?)
The Unediteds (Hey ... this one worked!)
The Undercovers (A little cheesy. And besides ... it sounds like were always asleep or something.)
The Uncommons (We are that ... but it has a strange vibe when you say it ...)
The Underarms (Clark's suggestion in that we keep our weapons secluded. But, ultimately, it was denied.)
The Undampeneds (No.)
The Unfamous (Jeff was on his 3rd pint when he came up with this one ...)
The Unerotics (Clark was on his 4th pint when he came up with this one ...)
The Unhinged (I was somewhere inbetween on the pint count when I came up with this one ... and I still think it's a good suggestion ...)
The Unitards (While unitards are part of our suave look, the name typecasts us.)
The Unicorns (No.)
The Ungainly (No. Absolutely not. We're all pretty good lookin' ...)
The Unforgivings (Once a strong contender. We're fair as well as forceful, but we didn't want ne'er-do-wells to get the idea we'd let them off easy when caught.)
The Unfrozens (We don't live anywhere near the north or south poles.)
The Unionists (Again, Jeff's suggestion.)
The Unmuzzleds (Rather the scary idea to our foes.)
The Unpruned (While I'm pleasantly hirsute, the others thought this was a bit too personal.)
The Unpersons (No.)
The Unstrapped (We considered this for our female contingent. Thankfully, we thought of "The Unbelieva-Babes" before implementation.)
The Unsavorys (Rather negative connotation, don't you think?)
The Unzipped (See "The Unsavorys" above.)
The Unwanted (Oh ... we're "wanted" all right ...)

There were more. Many more.

But, The Unbelievables is what finally stuck. Clark and Jeff have things to say about the above (with backstories I'm sure) as well as mentions of ones I missed.


Know this one thing, however: Our title came about with but a simple listening of Supertramps "The Logical Song" ... and the last line of the song:

"It's getting unbelievable ..."

The true mystery of our title is a mystery no more ...