El Nino No-Go

There really was no easy way to break it to the Snow Miser. We lured him in with the promise of peppermint tea and chocolate chip cookies (his favourites - who knew? We did, that's who), sat him down and tried to explain as best we could, given that we didn't fully understand the complexities of it all ourselves. 

"There's this thing called climate change," I offered. 

"Climate change?" replied the Miser.

"Yes," interjected Clark. (He does like to interject. Oh, he's a right bugger for interjections, interruptions, ructions, contradictions and um... congratulations. But I digress.) "You see, the earth's ocean currents are messed up due to the increased man-made carbon emissions. More emissions means a buildup of CO2 in the atmosphere, trapping warmth in like a greenhouse and causing the polar icecaps and glaciers to melt. This affects the weather too. So while you like to swoop in and make it all snowy and icy for a while, these climatic events make any weather more unpredictable and a lot worse each time."

"Yes, thank you, Dr. Science, " I said. "So you see, you've got to tone it down a bit."

"I see," said Snow Miser. "I'll have to see what I can do. But I make no promises! I just love pratfalls and slip-ups! Oh, and you might want to talk to Mr. Heat Miser too or you'll have sunbathers blackened to a crisp on the beaches of Southern Alaska. Now, where's that steaming peppermint tea I was promised?"

After a plate of Toll House and a mug of his favourite brew, he was away.

"Remember what we talked about!" Michael called after him. "Tone it down a skosh."

But he was long gone. Whether he heard or not is debatable, so I guess we'll find out the same time next year. 

Now to find Heat Miser's phone number...

I believe he's Mr. Hundred and One.

P.S. Michael and Clark did actually try to catch up with him, but after an hour of waiting for their return, I peeked out the window to see if I could spot them coming back. Here's what I saw.

El Niño Had Help (pt 2)

Poor Snow Miser. Poor, poor Snow Miser.
He's just a guy who appreciates a good pratfall, a taste he figured everybody shares. And what lends itself better to pratfalls than the naturally slippery and hypothermia-inducing conditions produced by a severe winter storm?
He was sure that his attempt at tickling funnybones via the bruising of tailbones would be accepted in the spirit in which it was offered.


Poor, poor, poorly-informed Snow Miser.

Somebody needed to set him straight. Three of those somebodies were us.

El Niño Had Help

So the east was pretty much paralyzed over the weekend.

Oh, they're digging out of it. In fact, Monday was set aside as "East Coast Dig Out" Day with government buildings, schools, local business and more closed so everyone could gather their wits about them and try and make semblance of the snowed-covered roads, front walk pathways and threatening overhangs ready to bury unsuspecting passersby.

Which all leads to the question: Just who is responsible for all this?

Well ... we all know the answer to that: The El Niño weather system, of course. (Some say it's a "Godzilla El Niño" which makes perfect sense depending on what part of the eastern United States is affected. The west is getting its much-needed rain. The east? Well ...)

But The Unbelievables know it's not simply a quirk of atmosphere or completely the fault of carbon emissions floating above us aimlessly, just waiting for an opportunity to come together and wreck havoc. There's much more to it than a random act of nature. You simply don't toss a few pollutants skyward, have one too many BBQs throughout the year, produce enough manufactured foreign air particles from textile and processing plants and the like mixing it up skyward and think "Mother Nature will have her say and do the rest." Thinking such is thinking obtusely.
 
There's a more qualified, more logical answer to it all.

The reason for such weather has a name. And its name (HIS name, rather) is ... Snow Miser. (Yep. The same Snow Miser from the 1974 stop-motion animated Christmas special The Year Without a Santa Claus.)

You have to understand: He's Mr. Icicle, he's Mr. Ten Below ...

Now ... we have an inkling the crippling weather in the east isn't a result of Snow Miser's malicious intent. After all, the dude exudes gregarious mannerisms, enthusiasm and, deep down, a willingness to help. 

We're sure of it.

It's just that he exhibited a little too much eagerness along with his good intentions. 

Clark and Jeff will explain ...