Have you seen Clark? He looks sort of like this.
And he may - or may not - have a beard ...
Was I worried when Clark flew the coop all of a sudden? Not in the least.
"He's probably off to the store again or something," I told Jeff when he asked where Clark had gone.
But when the hours stretched into days (5 days to be precise) Jeff was a mite more concerned.
"Seen Clark?" he asked.
"You just asked me that," I responded.
"That was Wednesday," Jeff informed me.
"Wednesday? What are you talking about?" I was engrossed in my most recent copy of Dodgem Logic and turned the page while Jeff kept bugging me.
"Wednesday. When I asked you if you knew where Clark was. You said he'd probably gone to the store." he explained. "Today is Monday ..."
"What? Didn't you just ask that?"
"Yes. 5 days ago. Wednesday."
I lowered my magazine to my lap and looked up quizzically. "Really? Huh. That's an awful long time to be at the store. He must really be stocking up," I chided more to myself than at Jeff. "And he didn't leave a note or anything?"
Jeff scrunched his shoulders and made half-hearted gestures with his hands. "Nope ..."
"Well ... since it's been 5 days and no word from him, I guess we better, you know, do something. Or, at the very least, be a little concerned. Is his car outside?"
"Nope."
"Huh. We'd better put our heads together, then," I mused.
I got up and went to my office to check the latest on my computer. A few minutes later, I yelled for Jeff. We'd gotten an e-mail from Clark.
"See? Nothing to worry about. He sent us a photo or something"
"Of what?" Jeff wondered.
I accessed it and we both took a gander.
At first glance I thought Clark might be checking to make certain
Lucretia had her belt through all her belt loops ...
... but Jeff's take on what was going on made more sense.
(And seriously: Who would be caught dead like this checking proper belt loop etiquette?)
(And seriously: Who would be caught dead like this checking proper belt loop etiquette?)
"Oh ... that's Clark all right" Jeff commented. "Looks like he's tussling with Lucretia Von Schploomph. Why does she have him flipped over her shoulder? Or ... is that him getting to second base with her? Again. What a show off ..."
"See? Nothing to worry about. Our pal is just fine. He's just off on some sort of holiday or he's sowing oats or taking a load off or something."
But later that afternoon, we received additional notes from Clark with curious photos attached. Jeff told you about them Wednesday:
Drowning? No. Fishing? You betcha.
"Outnumbered." Uh huh ... right, Clark.
"Well ... that settles it. It's official: I'm not worried about Clark. You're right, Michael - he's out and about letting off steam ..."
"He has been working rather hard lately ... I'll cut the guy some slack," I mentioned. "... but he better come back home with a carload of groceries. It was his turn to do the shopping last week. Still, I hope he had fun with Lucy and comes back in a good mood, refreshed and recreated ..."
P.S. I'm really glad Jeff mentioned the infamous Woman With No Name. I'll tell you about her in a couple weeks ...
