Many apologies for the lateness of this report, but I was doing some last-minute packing. What? Yes, I'm definitely going, even if the others aren't. Here are my reasons.
- I love parades, with their noisy vuvuzelas, endless drill teams and majorettes and token naked people.
- I love free stuff. Who doesn't?
- I love hotels. Especially the minibar with its great pricing structure. What's that ya say? $20 for a can of Pepsi? Don't mind if I do!
- I love banquets, especially ones in my honour, as long as there are plenty of whipped potatoes to go round. It doesn't even have to be Tuesday, for Pete's sake!
- I love to travel. I love sitting next to complete strangers on cramped airplanes making small talk about clouds and eating from miniature furnaces made from plastic. I love not knowing where to put that infuriating clingfilm, drinking from small cups and watching a movie I would gladly pay to avoid coming into contact with.
- I love BBQ. Seriously, who doesn't love charred meat products slathered in brown sauce accompanied by masses of side dishes of indeterminate origin?
So what if we've never met these people before? So what if we know absolutely nothing about them? A quick Google search should sort that out...
Holy cow! Look at this place!
Sign me up! What could possibly go wrong!?
(Note: this entry was a scheduled post, written before Jeff took off in a hurry to the airport. We are still waiting to hear from him. - Michael and Clark)
So ... this isn't fishy.
Nope.
Not in the least ...
Hey, Unbelievables!
We want to throw you a parade next weekend in your honor! Just for the heck of it! Because we really like you guys!
Think all three of you can make it to West Palm Beach, Florida to my personal botanical garden which houses the only rainforest in the United States? All you need to do is get to an airport and everything else will be taken care of on us: Transportation, food, accommodations, the works! You won't have anything to worry about!
Be here Friday night and if you're here early enough we'll take you out to dinner. Otherwise, your hotel will be waiting ... and we'll have separate rooms for all three of you.
Saturday? That's the big parade. It starts at noon so dress in your colorful best. It will run about an hour with a big BBQ at the tail end of it for you guys! And ... that night? It's party time!
Sunday - after you sleep in - we'll have a late morning send off before you head back.
I'm sure you guys can make it. If you have any questions, get in contact with me. Your plane tickets are coming via FedEx. You should have them sometime Monday afternoon.
See you then!
Gene Joyner
Gene Joyner's Unbelievable Acres Botanic Gardens
I passed the info along to Clark and Jeff so they can look into this further.
You never know what kind of parade may be being held "in our honor" ... if you know what I mean ...
