Wednesday Jeff said:
"Michael will be with you on Friday with more tales of danger, toilets (maybe) and other stuff (you never know with Michael, he can be kinda random sometimes)."
Just when and where have I gotten this reputation, I ask in all sincerity?
Look: I shy away from using two words day in and day out and those two words are "always" and "never." But I will state this: There is always a method to my madness. And that goes double for my randomness.
Yes, I'll admit: I can be random at times. But we've all heard the term "what goes around comes around" ... right? I just resemble that remark, is all.
So if you keep that in in the forefront of your mind, we'll get along just fine.
Now, back to business ...
Clark started the week off with "It's not that we'll refuse to offer our services ... it's just that we're going to involve ourselves with actual crimes and credible threats, where innocent people might actually be at risk." And he's right. It's not that we don't care, it's simply we don't care about what restroom someone uses.
It's like the time when we first moved into the Unbelieva-Base way back when. Understand, Nevada is hot and we were helping out the moving staff. It was the first time the locals noticed I wasn't wearing pants which - as you well know - has been a non-issue for years now. Back then? Not so much. But does anyone remember the uproar I caused that day? No. You know why?
Because it just doesn't matter.
(L to R: Clark, me, Jeff)
This photo shows us at Union Square on assignment years ago,
one of the first where I convinced the guys going pantsless
would up our popularity quotient. It was a great move and it worked.
(Side Note: It was Jeff's idea for he and Clark to wear shoe lifts.
"It will bolster our sex appeal" Jeff claimed. He was right on the money.
It took hours just to finish all the autograph and photo requests.)
Remember all those goats at the beginning of last year? No. You know why?
Because it just doesn't matter.
You have to admit: They were mighty cute ...
How about all the complaints and noise and broken glass clean-up from Clark tossing Henri Petit out uncountable windows over the years not to mention all of Petit's protestations? Right, you got it. It just doesn't matter.
That parade we held a couple years ago in honor of all the Unbelieva-Babes in our employ, both past and present? Sure, it caused a scene. Traffic up the wazoo. (And, to be fair, we DID work a deal with Stiletto Flats officials about all the trash generated on the streets because we're good guys after all.) But when all was said and done, no one even recalls some of the faux pas that came to pass. All anyone talks about is the fantastic cocktail party we threw post parade back at the Unbelieva-base.
There was a lot of trash to deal with ...
Because, in the grand scheme of things, it wasn't really an issue to begin with ...
... which brings me full circle right back to this toilet use deal:
Seriously, folks: It. Just. Doesn't. Matter.
Or, as The Clarkster said when he put it to bed Monday:
"... adults with a modicum of maturity and self-confidence are remarkably good at handling those circumstances."
And that's the truth, Ruth.